The only thing that counts, the only thing that matters is what we do with our lives from this moment on. - Unknown
We sometimes feel that we have been really understood, but it was always long ago, by someone now dead. ~Mignon McLaughlin,
I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence. - Frederick Douglass
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Tips For Positive Communication With Your Ex
I started this post LAST September, but never published it... I STILL can't speak to my ex 10 months later. Our communication is very very sparse and rudimentary and almost always only a few lines about whether/when the boys are being collected. That's it. No pleasantries allowed (his request). I still live in hope that this will change and we can become civil and then hopefully even friendly at some point again in the future. (In fact listening to Gwen Stefani's 'Cool' makes me tear up because that's what I 'd like).
If your marriage to your ex spouse produced children then nothing is more important than maintaining a civil relationship with your ex. It is essential that all parents work together for the welfare of their children. If there is poor communication with your ex-spouse and resentment between the two of you, you are not the loser, your child / children is. These tips will help you put aside any negative feelings you have toward your ex. Effort on your part to build a new and productive relationship with your ex will help all involved in the healing process and moving forward with life.
1. Consult a therapist.
If you find that the two of you have a hard time discussing important issues regarding the children, seek help from a third party. Don’t be afraid to consult a therapist or a friend you both have a trusting relationship with.
2. Set clear boundaries.
Communicate with each other and set clear boundaries about the roles you will play in your children’s lives. It’s important that you each understand the value of your relationship to your child and respect that relationship.
3. Don't bring up old issues.
When solving problems don’t bring up the past. Discuss the issue at hand and excuse yourself from the conversation if you are unable to remain calm and business like. View your ex spouse the same way you would a business associate. Make appointments to discuss issues, meet in a neutral location and always be prompt and courteous. Never allow yourself to resort to name calling, blaming, cursing or yelling. Keep negative emotions out of the equation and deal with them on your own time.
4. Be empathetic.
Be willing to see the situation from your ex’s perspective. They have concerns and fears just like you do and recognizing that will help you feel more empathetic and open to finding solutions to any problems that might arise.
5. Consider what is best for your children.
Most importantly, always consider what your children would want. You may find it hard to even be around your ex but making the needs of your children your main priority will help establish the kind of relationship that benefits them.
More Ex-Spouse Tips
Don´t Expect Too Much
Be realistic in your expectations. You were married to this person and probably know them better than they know themselves. Therefore you can probably predict their behavior and response to certain situations. Don't deliberately try to antagonize or upset the other person to get revenge. Learn the true meaning of forgiveness and get on with your life. If you harbor unforgiveness and bitterness, it will hinder your future. Let go of the past and look forward to the future. Give your ex time for his/her wounds to heal. Don't expect too much from them. Take it one step at a time and try to work toward a harmonious relationship for your children's sakes. Sometimes you may be able to compromise on issues, other times you may have to agree to disagree, but try to find a workable solution. Just don't expect too much cooperation too soon. Be sincere at all times and don't play games!
Discuss Issues
Discuss issues together. If your child is facing a problem in school, social life, or at home, let the other parent know. Think it through together. Both of you should have your child´s best interests at heart and even if you are not able to come to an agreement on how to handle the situation, both of you know what is going on.
Keep the Other Parent Informed
Keep the other parent posted on the little things. Send copies of report cards, drawings and graded papers on a regular basis. Kids often will not share all these things if they have limited time with the other parent. Make a special place to put items from school or home and be sure that the child remembers to take these items with them when they go on the visit. This gives the non-custodial parent insight into the little things that are going on and can help conversations when the parent and the child feel awkward.
Avoid Mudslinging
Engaging in mudslinging in front of the children is a big mistake. Children suffer emotionally when they hear one parent badmouthing the other. Name calling also increases the ill will and escalates conflict with your ex. Try to work together, not against each other. Everyone loses in mudslinging and name calling. You want to win, not lose. Forget the past, move ahead toward a peaceful future.
Communicating Negative Messages
Be careful not to use your child as a message bearer to communicate with your ex-spouse. If your child delivers a negative message for you, your child risks receiving the brunt of the other person's anger. Keep your children out of your domestic squabbles. They will only confuse and upset your child who is trying to be loyal to both of you. Communicate negative messages yourself by whatever means is appropriate, just make sure it does not include your kids.
Forget Past Mistakes
Don't bring up past mistakes and injustices. Throw away your laundry list of complaints and stay focused on the topic of discussion. Forget past mistakes, deal with the present. Hopefully they have learned from their past mistakes. It is time to forgive and forget.
No Bad-Mouthing
Be careful about saying unkind things about your child's missing parent. Try not to even think them or it will eventually come out. The mouth tends to speak what is in the heart, so keep your heart clean. Children need to be taught to respect their parents, even when one of them tends to act like a jerk. In time your children may see the truth for themselves, but hopefully by that time they have matured enough to realize we cannot control another person's behavior. Teach them to love and respect all people, even when that love is not returned. Don't put your child in a position of having to take sides against the other parent. They should love you both.
Communication is Important
If you and your ex are unable to carry on a civil conversation, you may need to find other ways to communicate information such as through letters or notes. If it is a very hostile situation that could end up in court, be sure to make copies of all your written communications to have as evidence should you need it. Some people have to communicate solely through lawyers, which is sad because the two adults are acting worse than a couple of two-year olds fighting over the same toy, except it is a child. If the other spouse insists upon acting like a child, then you need to be the grown-up and, by example, teach the other parent how to communicate. Set a good example for your children and exhibit some maturity in handling your side of the situation. Show them the right way to handle negative situations, not the wrong way, which is stooping to the other parent's level. Respect yourself even if your ex doesn't show you any.
Don't Cut Your Ex Out of the Loop
Keep your ex-spouse informed about everyday happenings and problems concerning your child. This includes school events and extracurricular activities. You may not want him there, but your child probably does. Put your selfish feelings aside and consider your child's well being. And it will go a long way in building a peaceful, harmonious relationship.
Stay Calm
If your ex tries to get you upset or angry, stay calm. Don't respond to his anger or engage in a confrontation he is trying to get you involved in. Be sincere and calm in your response. As the old saying goes, “kill them with kindness” (not literally of course!) Deal with the situation the same as you would with a hostile customer at work. Don't take it personally even though it is directed at your personally. Tell them you are sorry they feel that way but the situation is out of your control, the situation can't be undone, you are not able to discuss the issue with them, or whatever the rationale is. When dealing with men, remember that men are factual and respond to facts, not emotions. Getting upset and angry only fuels their fire more because men, by nature, are usually not geared to handle emotional issues, which leaves them even more frustrated and angry. Therefore you end up in a vicious cycle from which you need to remove yourself. Take away the fuel and the fire will die out.
No Accusations
Hurling accusations such as “You are selfish, and that is why you are constantly late picking up Ryan” is not helpful. It would be better to address how you ex-spouse's behavior affects Ryan (“He said he feels bad because he is late for basketball practice and the coach gets mad.”)
What your ex should know
Never tell your children to keep something secret from your ex. Your ex and the world at large have a right to know whatever your child knows. Telling children to keep secrets is harmful to the child´s development. Children are innocent and will tell every thing they know to anyone. This is normal, do not tamper with it. Telling children to keep secrets makes them vulnerable to people who want to exploit them and makes them feel guilty when they talk to their other parent. If you do not want your ex to know something, do not let the children know.
Your Child Is not a Message Center
Never use your child as a message bearer. Your child will inevitably end up in the middle of the war zone, which is not fair. Children should not be exposed to their parents' immaturity. Try to find an appropriate method of communication that does not put your children in the middle. Leave a message on an answering machine or write a letter and mail it if necessary, but don't rely upon your children to communicate your messages. The message can be forgotten, misunderstood by the child and miscommunicated to the other adult, etc. If it is important, put it in writing. Just don't rely upon your children to deliver it or it may get lost or forgotten.
Meet at Least Once a Month
Be open to meeting regularly each month with your ex and discussing how the kids are doing. Do this in a "businesslike" manner when the children are not present. If you sense problems or difficulties with the arrangement or a difference in household rules, bring them up! Letting them sit and simmer will only cause an uproar later. Remember that you both have your children´s best interests at heart and meeting each other half-way is the best way to resolve most conflicts.
When the children complain
When the children complain about the care they are getting from your ex, talk to your ex about what the children are saying. Do not accuse but do explore. Often children think you want to hear something bad so they tell you something. Sometimes it is made up, other times it is inflated. By talking together without accusing, you insure that the children do not grow up manipulating those around them.
Forget Perfectionism
Trying to be perfect in order to look better than the other parent is another big mistake. That is a pretense that will quickly falter. Just relax and act naturally. While we should always strive to improve ourselves, setting too high of a goal for yourself adds more stress and pressure that you do not need. Be satisfied with being the best you can be
And after all the obstaclesAnyway the point is how does one really communicate with an ex? How do you get past the anger and hurt and be sincere and practical? Here's what I have found... Maybe he will read this and start trying to treat me differently. One can only hope...
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool
And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool
If your marriage to your ex spouse produced children then nothing is more important than maintaining a civil relationship with your ex. It is essential that all parents work together for the welfare of their children. If there is poor communication with your ex-spouse and resentment between the two of you, you are not the loser, your child / children is. These tips will help you put aside any negative feelings you have toward your ex. Effort on your part to build a new and productive relationship with your ex will help all involved in the healing process and moving forward with life.
1. Consult a therapist.
If you find that the two of you have a hard time discussing important issues regarding the children, seek help from a third party. Don’t be afraid to consult a therapist or a friend you both have a trusting relationship with.
2. Set clear boundaries.
Communicate with each other and set clear boundaries about the roles you will play in your children’s lives. It’s important that you each understand the value of your relationship to your child and respect that relationship.
3. Don't bring up old issues.
When solving problems don’t bring up the past. Discuss the issue at hand and excuse yourself from the conversation if you are unable to remain calm and business like. View your ex spouse the same way you would a business associate. Make appointments to discuss issues, meet in a neutral location and always be prompt and courteous. Never allow yourself to resort to name calling, blaming, cursing or yelling. Keep negative emotions out of the equation and deal with them on your own time.
4. Be empathetic.
Be willing to see the situation from your ex’s perspective. They have concerns and fears just like you do and recognizing that will help you feel more empathetic and open to finding solutions to any problems that might arise.
5. Consider what is best for your children.
Most importantly, always consider what your children would want. You may find it hard to even be around your ex but making the needs of your children your main priority will help establish the kind of relationship that benefits them.
More Ex-Spouse Tips
Don´t Expect Too Much
Be realistic in your expectations. You were married to this person and probably know them better than they know themselves. Therefore you can probably predict their behavior and response to certain situations. Don't deliberately try to antagonize or upset the other person to get revenge. Learn the true meaning of forgiveness and get on with your life. If you harbor unforgiveness and bitterness, it will hinder your future. Let go of the past and look forward to the future. Give your ex time for his/her wounds to heal. Don't expect too much from them. Take it one step at a time and try to work toward a harmonious relationship for your children's sakes. Sometimes you may be able to compromise on issues, other times you may have to agree to disagree, but try to find a workable solution. Just don't expect too much cooperation too soon. Be sincere at all times and don't play games!
Discuss Issues
Discuss issues together. If your child is facing a problem in school, social life, or at home, let the other parent know. Think it through together. Both of you should have your child´s best interests at heart and even if you are not able to come to an agreement on how to handle the situation, both of you know what is going on.
Keep the Other Parent Informed
Keep the other parent posted on the little things. Send copies of report cards, drawings and graded papers on a regular basis. Kids often will not share all these things if they have limited time with the other parent. Make a special place to put items from school or home and be sure that the child remembers to take these items with them when they go on the visit. This gives the non-custodial parent insight into the little things that are going on and can help conversations when the parent and the child feel awkward.
Avoid Mudslinging
Engaging in mudslinging in front of the children is a big mistake. Children suffer emotionally when they hear one parent badmouthing the other. Name calling also increases the ill will and escalates conflict with your ex. Try to work together, not against each other. Everyone loses in mudslinging and name calling. You want to win, not lose. Forget the past, move ahead toward a peaceful future.
Communicating Negative Messages
Be careful not to use your child as a message bearer to communicate with your ex-spouse. If your child delivers a negative message for you, your child risks receiving the brunt of the other person's anger. Keep your children out of your domestic squabbles. They will only confuse and upset your child who is trying to be loyal to both of you. Communicate negative messages yourself by whatever means is appropriate, just make sure it does not include your kids.
Forget Past Mistakes
Don't bring up past mistakes and injustices. Throw away your laundry list of complaints and stay focused on the topic of discussion. Forget past mistakes, deal with the present. Hopefully they have learned from their past mistakes. It is time to forgive and forget.
No Bad-Mouthing
Be careful about saying unkind things about your child's missing parent. Try not to even think them or it will eventually come out. The mouth tends to speak what is in the heart, so keep your heart clean. Children need to be taught to respect their parents, even when one of them tends to act like a jerk. In time your children may see the truth for themselves, but hopefully by that time they have matured enough to realize we cannot control another person's behavior. Teach them to love and respect all people, even when that love is not returned. Don't put your child in a position of having to take sides against the other parent. They should love you both.
Communication is Important
If you and your ex are unable to carry on a civil conversation, you may need to find other ways to communicate information such as through letters or notes. If it is a very hostile situation that could end up in court, be sure to make copies of all your written communications to have as evidence should you need it. Some people have to communicate solely through lawyers, which is sad because the two adults are acting worse than a couple of two-year olds fighting over the same toy, except it is a child. If the other spouse insists upon acting like a child, then you need to be the grown-up and, by example, teach the other parent how to communicate. Set a good example for your children and exhibit some maturity in handling your side of the situation. Show them the right way to handle negative situations, not the wrong way, which is stooping to the other parent's level. Respect yourself even if your ex doesn't show you any.
Don't Cut Your Ex Out of the Loop
Keep your ex-spouse informed about everyday happenings and problems concerning your child. This includes school events and extracurricular activities. You may not want him there, but your child probably does. Put your selfish feelings aside and consider your child's well being. And it will go a long way in building a peaceful, harmonious relationship.
Stay Calm
If your ex tries to get you upset or angry, stay calm. Don't respond to his anger or engage in a confrontation he is trying to get you involved in. Be sincere and calm in your response. As the old saying goes, “kill them with kindness” (not literally of course!) Deal with the situation the same as you would with a hostile customer at work. Don't take it personally even though it is directed at your personally. Tell them you are sorry they feel that way but the situation is out of your control, the situation can't be undone, you are not able to discuss the issue with them, or whatever the rationale is. When dealing with men, remember that men are factual and respond to facts, not emotions. Getting upset and angry only fuels their fire more because men, by nature, are usually not geared to handle emotional issues, which leaves them even more frustrated and angry. Therefore you end up in a vicious cycle from which you need to remove yourself. Take away the fuel and the fire will die out.
No Accusations
Hurling accusations such as “You are selfish, and that is why you are constantly late picking up Ryan” is not helpful. It would be better to address how you ex-spouse's behavior affects Ryan (“He said he feels bad because he is late for basketball practice and the coach gets mad.”)
What your ex should know
Never tell your children to keep something secret from your ex. Your ex and the world at large have a right to know whatever your child knows. Telling children to keep secrets is harmful to the child´s development. Children are innocent and will tell every thing they know to anyone. This is normal, do not tamper with it. Telling children to keep secrets makes them vulnerable to people who want to exploit them and makes them feel guilty when they talk to their other parent. If you do not want your ex to know something, do not let the children know.
Your Child Is not a Message Center
Never use your child as a message bearer. Your child will inevitably end up in the middle of the war zone, which is not fair. Children should not be exposed to their parents' immaturity. Try to find an appropriate method of communication that does not put your children in the middle. Leave a message on an answering machine or write a letter and mail it if necessary, but don't rely upon your children to communicate your messages. The message can be forgotten, misunderstood by the child and miscommunicated to the other adult, etc. If it is important, put it in writing. Just don't rely upon your children to deliver it or it may get lost or forgotten.
Meet at Least Once a Month
Be open to meeting regularly each month with your ex and discussing how the kids are doing. Do this in a "businesslike" manner when the children are not present. If you sense problems or difficulties with the arrangement or a difference in household rules, bring them up! Letting them sit and simmer will only cause an uproar later. Remember that you both have your children´s best interests at heart and meeting each other half-way is the best way to resolve most conflicts.
When the children complain
When the children complain about the care they are getting from your ex, talk to your ex about what the children are saying. Do not accuse but do explore. Often children think you want to hear something bad so they tell you something. Sometimes it is made up, other times it is inflated. By talking together without accusing, you insure that the children do not grow up manipulating those around them.
Forget Perfectionism
Trying to be perfect in order to look better than the other parent is another big mistake. That is a pretense that will quickly falter. Just relax and act naturally. While we should always strive to improve ourselves, setting too high of a goal for yourself adds more stress and pressure that you do not need. Be satisfied with being the best you can be
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Quinn's report brilliant, but teacher STILL negative.
So we got Quinn's report. These are his results for term 1 & 2 of grade 4:
- English - Term 1: 3 - 64.5%, Term 2: 4 - 72.9%
- Afrikaans - Term 1: 3 - 66.6%, Term 2: 3 - 68.7%
- Xhosa - Term 1: 2 - 50%, Term 2: 4 - 82.5%
- Mathematics - Term 1: 4 - 88.2%, Term 2: 4 - 85.1%
- History - Term 1: 4 - 73.3%, Term 2: 4 - 81.4%
- Geography - Term 1: 4 - 92.8%, Term 2: 4 - 81.6%
- Natural Science - Term 1: 4 - 80%, Term 2: 4 - 78%
- EMS - Term 1: 4 - 90%, Term 2: 4 - 80%
- Life Orientation - Term 1: 4 -70%, Term 2: 4 - 75.7%
- Physical Education - Term 1: 3 - 50%, Term 2: 4 - 100%
- Computers - Term 1: 4 - 70%, Term 2: 4 - 80%
- Design - Term 1: 2 - 25%, Term 2: 3 -53.3%
- Music - Term 1: 4 - 79%, Term 2: 4 - 81.7%
- Art - Term 1: 4 - 75%, Term 2: 4 - 68.7%
I think those results are pretty incredible... especial since his readiness for Grade 4 was questioned at the beginning of the year!
But his teacher is consistently negative about him and doesn't seem to give him any leeway, and despite this very good result her comments are pretty demotivating - saying he is 'extremely talkative', which he IS, I know, and that she is concerned about his readiness for Grade 5 (which is more then 6 months away still!). But rather than encourage him, in any way, she just puts him down all the time and questions whether he should be in that grade (as the youngest), yet next year he will STILL be talkative, that's his personality. It is actually getting quite annoying now and I am not sure how to address it now...?
:( This is the first teacher at the school I have had an issue with, I find her quite difficult to deal with...
- English - Term 1: 3 - 64.5%, Term 2: 4 - 72.9%
- Afrikaans - Term 1: 3 - 66.6%, Term 2: 3 - 68.7%
- Xhosa - Term 1: 2 - 50%, Term 2: 4 - 82.5%
- Mathematics - Term 1: 4 - 88.2%, Term 2: 4 - 85.1%
- History - Term 1: 4 - 73.3%, Term 2: 4 - 81.4%
- Geography - Term 1: 4 - 92.8%, Term 2: 4 - 81.6%
- Natural Science - Term 1: 4 - 80%, Term 2: 4 - 78%
- EMS - Term 1: 4 - 90%, Term 2: 4 - 80%
- Life Orientation - Term 1: 4 -70%, Term 2: 4 - 75.7%
- Physical Education - Term 1: 3 - 50%, Term 2: 4 - 100%
- Computers - Term 1: 4 - 70%, Term 2: 4 - 80%
- Design - Term 1: 2 - 25%, Term 2: 3 -53.3%
- Music - Term 1: 4 - 79%, Term 2: 4 - 81.7%
- Art - Term 1: 4 - 75%, Term 2: 4 - 68.7%
I think those results are pretty incredible... especial since his readiness for Grade 4 was questioned at the beginning of the year!
But his teacher is consistently negative about him and doesn't seem to give him any leeway, and despite this very good result her comments are pretty demotivating - saying he is 'extremely talkative', which he IS, I know, and that she is concerned about his readiness for Grade 5 (which is more then 6 months away still!). But rather than encourage him, in any way, she just puts him down all the time and questions whether he should be in that grade (as the youngest), yet next year he will STILL be talkative, that's his personality. It is actually getting quite annoying now and I am not sure how to address it now...?
:( This is the first teacher at the school I have had an issue with, I find her quite difficult to deal with...
Thursday, 25 June 2009
You could do so much better than this
Keane - Better Than This
Is this what you meant?
Is this what you dreamed of?
When you were making your plans,
Shaking the dirt off?
Do you feel like you and I belong?
(oh ah oh)
Just keep your eyes on the road and nothing can go wrong
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
I've been checking my sums
Oh where did the time go?
Holding my photograph up to the window
Through the paper, a refracted sun
(oh ah oh)
I can see all the things I wish that I'd done
You can hang your hopes on the bedsits
You can put your faith in the foreign
You can tell yourself you can do your best
You could do so much better than this
Get a grip on yourself
Get a grip on yourself
Could have been something, but you're too late
And you wouldn't want it anyway
Just a photograph from the wrong time
'Cause there is no soap star holding your hand
You can see yourself in a freeze-frame
Must be someone else using your name
And everyone will be the same
And everyone will never go
And everywhere, you'll see your name
In every shop window
It's better than this
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
Is this what you meant?
Is this what you dreamed of?
When you were making your plans,
Shaking the dirt off?
Do you feel like you and I belong?
(oh ah oh)
Just keep your eyes on the road and nothing can go wrong
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
I've been checking my sums
Oh where did the time go?
Holding my photograph up to the window
Through the paper, a refracted sun
(oh ah oh)
I can see all the things I wish that I'd done
You can hang your hopes on the bedsits
You can put your faith in the foreign
You can tell yourself you can do your best
You could do so much better than this
Get a grip on yourself
Get a grip on yourself
Could have been something, but you're too late
And you wouldn't want it anyway
Just a photograph from the wrong time
'Cause there is no soap star holding your hand
You can see yourself in a freeze-frame
Must be someone else using your name
And everyone will be the same
And everyone will never go
And everywhere, you'll see your name
In every shop window
It's better than this
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
You could do so much better than this
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
I'm so sanctified and free
The World We Live In - Killers
This is world that we live in
I feel myself get tired
This is the world that we live in
Well maybe I was mistaken
I heard a rumor that you quit this day and age
Well maybe I was mistaken
Bless your body, bless your soul
Pray for peace and self control
I gotta believe it's worth it
Without a victory,
I'm so sanctified and free
Well maybe I'm just mistaken
Lesson learned and the wheels keep turning
This is the world that we live in
I can't take blame for two
This is the world that we live in
And maybe we'll make it through
Bless your body, bless your soul
Reel me in and cut my throat
Underneath the waterfall
Baby we're still in this boat, yeah
This is the world that we live in
Feel myself get tired
This is the world that we live in
I had a dream that I was falling, down
There's no next time around
A storm wastes its water on me
But my heart was free
I guess it's the world that we live in
It's not too late for that
This is the world that we live in
And no, we can't go back
This is the world that we live in
We still want something real
This is the world that we live in
I know that we can heal over time
This is the world that we live in
This is world that we live in
I feel myself get tired
This is the world that we live in
Well maybe I was mistaken
I heard a rumor that you quit this day and age
Well maybe I was mistaken
Bless your body, bless your soul
Pray for peace and self control
I gotta believe it's worth it
Without a victory,
I'm so sanctified and free
Well maybe I'm just mistaken
Lesson learned and the wheels keep turning
This is the world that we live in
I can't take blame for two
This is the world that we live in
And maybe we'll make it through
Bless your body, bless your soul
Reel me in and cut my throat
Underneath the waterfall
Baby we're still in this boat, yeah
This is the world that we live in
Feel myself get tired
This is the world that we live in
I had a dream that I was falling, down
There's no next time around
A storm wastes its water on me
But my heart was free
I guess it's the world that we live in
It's not too late for that
This is the world that we live in
And no, we can't go back
This is the world that we live in
We still want something real
This is the world that we live in
I know that we can heal over time
This is the world that we live in
Monday, 22 June 2009
There's life in the old bird yet!
It was recently my good friend Beryl and her hubby's respective birthdays, so they arranged a drinks/snacks session at the Fat Cactus on Friday. I love the place and so I was game.
I had a pretty hectic day on Friday: work, giving a colleague a lift home, rushing to Q's eye appointment, then some rapid emergency shopping before rushing the boys to cubs just in time (but sans their uniforms) and then having to get their week-end bags sorted and dropped of with them at cubs. I ended up making it to the Fat Cactus well after 18:30 (the invite was for 17:30). Because of all of this there was simply no time to go home to change into something more befitting of a Friday night out and so I was in my dorky work outfit.
I wasn't too perturbed, many people use the Fat Cactus as an after work sundowner spot, so no harm done...
But then as we were leaving at 22:00 or so someone decided it was too early to go home. I suggested we pop into Stones in Claremont to play pool. This is a suitably adult thing to do. They agreed and off we went. Somehow though the other couple we were with; Bridget & Tanya got way laid in Tantra downstairs from Stones and so I relented to 'one drink' there... yeah right. We ended up on the dance floor amid a bunch of guys who seriously looked about 12 years old... but shame I bet they were older... maybe 16! And never left util somewhere around 2am, and not before the Thunda.com photographer snapped us there. SO now there is evidence too!
Now that my so called 'friends' Meriel & Lindy have let the cat out of the bag and blabbed about the proof of me clubbing it up like a 16 year old. Here is the evidence as captured for all the world to see!
Admittedly it was a lot of fun, but I am finding these shindigs a bit harder to recover from these days... So Saturday morning had me feeling a bit grim and I decided to stay in bed until I had had at least 3 cups of coffee. My planned run turned into a rather pitiful walk instead. But it did the job and I felt good enough to drag myself to the Comedy show after a long bath.
So what's planned for this week-end? Oh right I have a work party I am organising on Friday... argh! ;)
I had a pretty hectic day on Friday: work, giving a colleague a lift home, rushing to Q's eye appointment, then some rapid emergency shopping before rushing the boys to cubs just in time (but sans their uniforms) and then having to get their week-end bags sorted and dropped of with them at cubs. I ended up making it to the Fat Cactus well after 18:30 (the invite was for 17:30). Because of all of this there was simply no time to go home to change into something more befitting of a Friday night out and so I was in my dorky work outfit.
I wasn't too perturbed, many people use the Fat Cactus as an after work sundowner spot, so no harm done...
But then as we were leaving at 22:00 or so someone decided it was too early to go home. I suggested we pop into Stones in Claremont to play pool. This is a suitably adult thing to do. They agreed and off we went. Somehow though the other couple we were with; Bridget & Tanya got way laid in Tantra downstairs from Stones and so I relented to 'one drink' there... yeah right. We ended up on the dance floor amid a bunch of guys who seriously looked about 12 years old... but shame I bet they were older... maybe 16! And never left util somewhere around 2am, and not before the Thunda.com photographer snapped us there. SO now there is evidence too!
Now that my so called 'friends' Meriel & Lindy have let the cat out of the bag and blabbed about the proof of me clubbing it up like a 16 year old. Here is the evidence as captured for all the world to see!
Admittedly it was a lot of fun, but I am finding these shindigs a bit harder to recover from these days... So Saturday morning had me feeling a bit grim and I decided to stay in bed until I had had at least 3 cups of coffee. My planned run turned into a rather pitiful walk instead. But it did the job and I felt good enough to drag myself to the Comedy show after a long bath.So what's planned for this week-end? Oh right I have a work party I am organising on Friday... argh! ;)
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Meeting Magnanimous Meriel
A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart. ~Author Unknown
I had the honour and privilege of meeting the lovely Meriel last night.
Meriel you are the best! You are one of those people who are (and I KNEW would be) just as lovely, lovable, warm, calm, genuine and big hearted in real life as on-line.
You are a total sweet-heart. (B also though both you and your MIM are just wonderful people.)
Meriel and I had never met. We connected via the blog network, and she knows my ex, and more specifically his brother, from the ancient past way back when...
Meriel is nothing but kind, caring, supportive, warm, amusing, charming and just damn NICE! All the time. I don't know how she manages it, but I do know she pays a lot of attention to her thoughts and attitudes and I think a lot can be learned from that. She is an inspiration and clearly a wonderful mother and partner and a sterling friend.
Thanks so much for the invite. I had a fabulous time and LOVED the comedy show! It was excellent and I have not laughed so long and hard for a long long time. It was just what the doctor ordered.
It really was a privilege and treat t meet you. Thank-you thank-you so much for your kindness and generosity in inviting me along.
“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”
Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
I had the honour and privilege of meeting the lovely Meriel last night.
Meriel you are the best! You are one of those people who are (and I KNEW would be) just as lovely, lovable, warm, calm, genuine and big hearted in real life as on-line.
You are a total sweet-heart. (B also though both you and your MIM are just wonderful people.)
Meriel and I had never met. We connected via the blog network, and she knows my ex, and more specifically his brother, from the ancient past way back when...
Meriel is nothing but kind, caring, supportive, warm, amusing, charming and just damn NICE! All the time. I don't know how she manages it, but I do know she pays a lot of attention to her thoughts and attitudes and I think a lot can be learned from that. She is an inspiration and clearly a wonderful mother and partner and a sterling friend.
Thanks so much for the invite. I had a fabulous time and LOVED the comedy show! It was excellent and I have not laughed so long and hard for a long long time. It was just what the doctor ordered.
It really was a privilege and treat t meet you. Thank-you thank-you so much for your kindness and generosity in inviting me along.
“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”
Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Count Quinn
Quinn counting people from 1-10 in Xhosa. He'd JUST learned it and was practicing for a test at school the next day.
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