100 things you probably never needed to know about me...

These are more or less in chronological order.
Warning it may be more than you wanted to know...

1. I was born on 30 April 1974, at the Mowbray Maternity Hospital in Cape Town, South Africa.
2. I am the 3rd of 4 children. I have an older brother and sister and a younger sister.
3. I was named after a character in my brother's Grade 1 reader! (You know Kathy & Mark, John & Jane... sad I know...)
4. We moved to Johannesburg , when my father was transferred there, just before I turned 4. I remember driving up through the Karoo in a beat up old sky-blue Peugeot station wagon, which we called 'Poor Joe'. It had a rusted hole in the passenger-side floor, and you could see the road whizzing by if you lifted the rubber mat!
   
5. I got a large (size 4) Red and Yellow tricycle for my 4th birthday. I loved it, and it endured much use, abuse and modifications. Including the classic 'cardboard in the spokes' trick to result in a nice loud clicking as the wheel turns... I used that tricycle for years, and turned it into an extreme sport of sorts by careening down steep roads while standing on the foot plate and clutching the handles, long after I had outgrown it.
6. I took a long time to grow up, I liked playing fantastical games. We also had a lot of freedom and I was able to wander around the neighbourhood and explore building sites and open fields at will. We had such fun doing that kind of thing. We were pretty naughty too.
   
7. I went to Northcliff Primary School and was a squarely average student. My dad made 'average' sound like an achievement, and for years I thought I was striving to be average! Tut-tut.
   
8. My mother lead me to believe that pink and red match, a few years later I learned they don't. Although these days they do... who knows!? I had quite a few misconceptions gained from her. I am not sure if she even realised this, but if I asked her a question about something she would distractedly say 'Yes', and hey- presto for years I would think it was so. I now believe she a) wasn't even listening to me and b) didn't know the answers in most cases either.
   
9. I was a bit of a tom-boy when I was young and thought it was cool to walk around in shorts with no top on. If boys could do it so could I! My older sister dared me to walk to the local cafe (corner shop) in shorts with no top, and another time in a body suit (top with poppers to close it at the crotch) and no pants. I did both. Not that safe these days! At the time the shop keepers just found us weird/annoying/amusing. Who knows?
   
10. Although I liked my First Love doll, and dressed and cared for her, I always wanted boys toys, as I found them more interesting and interactive. I wanted scaletrix, train sets, meccano, and other remote controlled gadgets etc. The closest I got was lego. I used to make elaborate multi-story houses filled with furniture, complete with full pitched-roof as welll as detailed cars etc out of my lego.
    
11. We lived in a large block of flats before we left Cape Town and when we arrived in Johannesburg. Flats are weird. I hate being so close to neighbours. We would harrass the residents by playing 'tok-tokkie'. A dangerous game where you knock on doors and then run away. A child was shot and killed in SA for doing this around that time, and so we were banned from doing that. We also used to have feuds with the Afrikaands children. Us being the 'Rooi Nekke' (Red Necks) and them being the 'Rock Spiders' *LOL* South Africans will understand this...
    
12. I have lived in 17 different places in my life, but only 3 towns.
    
13. When I was 5 or 6 a friend of my father's promised he would take me camping one day. He had come over for dinner and he started telling me that we'd go camping. I was thrilled! I asked when we were going, and he decided it would be the next day. He jokingly said he'd collect me in the morning. The next morning at the crack of dawn I woke up, packed a bag and went outside to the corner of the street. I waited and waited but he never came. I eventually went back and woke my parents up, and they had to explain to me that he was only joking. I didn't understand why he had said he was coming when he wasn't. I was quite devastated.(I now never promise anything to children if I don't mean it.)
14. I started school when I was 5 years old. I was one of the youngest in the class and one of the shortest.
15. I basically knew Grade 1 when I arrived as I had learned everything from my older sister. I couldn't understand how some children couldn't read or didn't understand how to do sums... I just seemed to inherently know how to do it all.
    
16. I got into trouble on the very first day of Grade 1, before school had even started yet. I had to sit in my sisters Std 3 (Grade 5) class for 30 mins waiting for the Grade 1 first day to begin. I was shouted at by the teacher for talking and disturbing the class. I was sent to sit outside. I now think that was extremely mean of the teacher!
17. I had to walk home from school with my sister for the whole of Grade 1 – something like 2.5km. Shame. (I walked 2.5km each way to and from school again from Std 3 to Std 5, rain or shine.) Luckilly I still like walking.
    
18. When my little sister was 3, I found her drowning in the deep-end of the pool. I went to call my mom, who was taking a nap. My mom can't swim anyway, so she asked me to fish my sister out, which I did. She was fine. I was 7. (I think my sister has water origins or something, as I can remember 3 separate times where she had to be rescued from water.)
    
19. I was not very sporty at school. I tried netball for a term and had a netball thrown full-force into my nose. *ouch* I then tried tennis for a term. It didn't seem much fun, I stuck to ballet, drama and chess after that.
20. I got a trophy in a Chess competition in Std 5 (Grade 7). It wasn't a huge achievement as the top 5 players weren't allowed to compete, so the competition was not strong.
    
21. When I was in Std 1 (Grade 3) I had a ballet concert rehearsal after which my parents forgot to fetch me. I was with my older sister. When it got dark we decided we'd have to walk home. It was about 10+km, it was getting dark and we were quite scared. Eventually a young couple in a micro-bus stopped as we were crossing a busy bridge and gave us a lift, we thought we were going to be kidnapped or killed - but we survived.
    
22. I did ballet for 2 years and then gave up. I did 2 concerts and one exam. I don't think I was the most graceful of ballerinas! ;)
    
23. I have a brother, he is 7 years older than me. He has birth-related brain damage. He is obsessed with the 50-s and 60s and could tell you anything about the music and musicians of that time. I know quite a lot of it myself because of that.
24. My brother had a nervous breakdown when he was 17 (I was 10). He became very violent. It was scary. He spent years in and out of psychiatric hospitals after that. He now lives permanently in an institution. Thinking about him makes me feel sad. After my children, I have left everything in my will to my brother.
25. I was brought up to be allowed to think and question. We used to have quite intellectual debates with my father around the dinner table. I loved that. I was allowed to ask him anything.
    
26. I was allowed to watch the original 'Exorsist' movie when I was 7. *Quelle horreure*
    
27. In Standard 5 (Grade 7) I was selected to represent my house in a General Knowledge Quiz, after sucking less than the rest of the class in the qualifying test. I only got 6/20 so that others must have REALLY sucked.
28. Much of my knowledge comes from Chappies papers. 'Did you know...' Remember those?
    
29. I got a prize for getting the 3rd number of questions right on the night of the actual quiz. It was fun, we had a buzzer to push and everything.
30. I got Trivial Pursuit as a Christmas gift that year. I used to read the questions and answers for fun.
    
31. I went out to dinner and watched the Tom Cruise movie 'Top Gun' the night before I took my official IQ tests in Std 5. We went to bed really late.
32. It didn't seem to do much damage because I was selected into an extra-curricular program at the 'Centre for Highly Gifted Children' after that. For years I thought they had made a mistake – because I was 'average'. I didn't tell anyone outside of my family.
    
33. They never told me my IQ, and for years I wondered about it.
34. A few years ago I started doing on-line IQ tests. I eventually did the official Mensa workout and was deemed in the top 5th percentile. I was invited to sit the official qualifying exam – if you pass you are in the top 2%ile. I chickened out of the formal written exam. My thinking was that I would rather go through life thinking I might possibly be a MENSA candidate, than knowing I am not! Hahaha.
    
35. My parents took my older sister and I to Europe when I was 13. We went to France, Switzerland, Germany, Belguim, Luxembough, and England and Scotland. I loved it! All of it.
    
36. When I was 14 my parents got divorced. It was a VERY difficult time for my little sister and I, and I think we still carry some of the emotional scars that were formed. We have moved on though and mostly just get on with our lives regardless. I think as I get older I understand the situation from all angles too. It wasn't easy on anybody.
    
37. My father got married again 6 months later.
38. My sister and I moved to Pretoria to live with my father shortly after they returned from their honeymoon. Literally over-night. They had got back from their Honeymoon, and he came over to take us out to dinner. On returning home my mom and dad got into an argument (we had told him we were miserable and not being looked after) and she told him to take us and that she didn't want us. We literally packed a small bag and left that same night at abut 11pm.
    
39. I initially loved my step-mother, but our relationship soured until we hardly got along at all. She was clearly not happy that we had moved in, and showed this even on that night we arrived.
    
40. I still feel bad about this at times, because I had very good intentions with her, and she misunderstood me. I was left feeling like it was all my fault. I still sometimes find it hard to feel real fondness for her now years later, after how she treated my sister and I.
41. I worked at as a cashier at a local supermarket each and every week-end in Std 9 and 10, to have money to buy clothes, school text books and to go out etc. I met my first boyfriend there he worked in the deli! I took the guy that worked in the bakery to my Matric dance. Between the 2 of them I could get a roll and slice of ham for lunch (NO innuendo there hey!?). LOL.
    
42. I settled into Pretoria Girls' High and did quite well. I matriculated in 1991 with 3 distinctions (Science, Biology & Geography). No longer average YAY! :)
    
43. I lost my virginity when I was 17 – in my final year of school. He was 14 years older than me, and worked for my father. Are you shocked??
    
44. We stayed together for nearly 3 years. I thought I'd marry him - but I am very glad I didn't. He was very good to me though, and made me feel loved, which is something I really needed at the time.
    
45. We moved in together after my step-mother threw me out of her house (because of our relationship) half-way through my first year out of school. I had been caught coming home one morning after sneaking out for the night... I am a rebel in disguise after all ;)
    
46. I went to Study Electronic Engineering at University of Pretoria. I am not even sure why I chose that!? But I did ok at it.
    
47. My father paid my first year's fees, and after that I was on my own. My ex paid for the second year. We split up in my 3rd year of varisty, after he had his second (that I know of) affair.
48. When I found out about the first affair I was devastated. In an attention-seeking move I took 5-6 tranquillizers and got his gun (I don't think I would have used it). I passed out with the gun. He found me, woke me up and yelled at me. I learned a lesson that day. I will never try to kill myself over anybody else. Ever. No one is worth it or should have that much power over you.
    
49. My foot went completely numb from the tranquillizers and took 2-3 days to come right. I was very glad it did!
    
50. After that, the next time he went away for work (where the affairs always took place) I decided I needed to lose weight, to be more attractive. In just over 6 months I lost 12kgs. I thought I looked great, but people would ask me if I was sick. At the time I weighed just over 40kgs. I had an eating disorder. :/
    
51. During the next year my ex left me. I had to find a place to live, and a way to support myself and pay my varsity fees. I somehow did all of this.
    
52. I started waitressing and worked in various steakhouses, burger joints and restaurants. Including one establishment of dubious repute called JD Blondes. It was surprisingly fun and the tips were great! I had to wear a blonde wig, cowboy hat & boots, black cat-suit and a cow-hide waistcoat! OMG! It was fun though, and I worked there through the 1995 Rugby World Cup. It was quite a wild time!
    
53. But working till 2 or 3 in the morning and then getting to boring lectures by 7:15am was NOT easy, and my studies suffered.
    
54. A took up fencing when I was encouraged by a good friend of mine. I did Foil.
55. Fencing was really fun and social. It was the first time I had done anything really sporty and enjoyed it. I attended the Northern Transvaal, University and Free State Open competitions that year and then entered Nationals. Although I was a complete novice I came 17th (out of 27) in Nationals. Something I am proud of.
    
56. I scored 5 hits in a row off Rentia, who had represented SA at the Barcelona Olympics the year before. I was very proud - she was pissed off, and went on to slaughter me 15/5. I hurt for days afterwards. ;)
    
57. My good friend became my boyfriend briefly in this time. We had fun together. We are very insync mentally and just 'get' each other. (We are actually still good friends now).
58. After 3 months he suddenly withdrew and started ignoring me. He stopped fencing too. I was hurt and didn't understand.
59. A month or so later I found out that not only were he and the fencing coach gay but they had also had a long standing relationship, which he had broken off to be with me. They had got back together.
60. I stopped fencing shortly afterwards.
61. I got 28% for a Calculus 3 semester test around this time.
62. I was forced to redo the subject the next semester. I only attended the first lecture and the Prof withheld my final results. I thought I was being failed again. I went to her office and she gave me my test and said I had got the highest mark in the class (94%) and she didn't know who I was, so she had wanted to see me!
63. It was a very sad, lonely and depressed time of my life. I had gained quite a lot of weight and had trouble controlling it. I had an eating disorder. I think I got close to 70kgs at one point *shudder*.
64. I think people should be in a chemically-induced-coma during their early twenties, to have better odds of surviving them! My early twenties were not the happiest time of my life.
65. I drove over my own hand – this is a long story, I may tell you some time. It is funny now.
66. I was the first person I knew with an e-mail address (1994), and no-one to write to except my Engineering class mates, but that seemed pointless.
67. In 1995 I saw some guys playing MUD, I asked them what they were doing, and they told me 'Never mind, you won't understand'
68. Half an hour later I was playing MUD and was hooked.
69. I would arrive at the computer labs early and leave late each day so I could get my Internet fix.
70. After about a month I was directed to IRC, because I was just using MUD as a chat program. I met a guy who I thought was wonderful. He had such an alluring presence on MUD. I ended up meeting him in real life a few years later and it was such a disappointment. He was nothing like his Internet persona. Lesson learnt.
    
71. I met some cool people on IRC, many of whom I am still in contact with today.
72. I married one of them ;) I met Richard on-line, and moved down to Cape Town 3 months later.
73. We share the same birth date 10-years apart.
74. During the first year in Cape Town I began working full time, and my life settled down. I started finding myself.
75. My weight stabilized and has been pretty consistent (apart from during pregnancies) ever since. I no longer have an eating disorder (although I guess it never really goes away completely).
76. In October 1997 I became pregnant (I hate to say 'fell' pregnant it sounds awful). I was thrilled, even though it wasn't planned. I started doing yoga and am still going strong.
    
77. We got married in the January of 1998. Everything was prefect, for a while..
78. On 23 March 1998 while on the train coming back from the U2 Pop Mart concert and family visit in Johannesburg I went into pre-term labour. Our baby girl Angelique was born in Kimberly (after I was ambulanced off the train from De Aar) at 25 weeks. She weighed just 865g. She was beautiful and alive, but nothing was done to save her and she died in my arms. It was one of the most life-defining events of my life.
79. We planted a memorial tree on Lion's Head. Both my boy's placentas have been planted under the tree to nourish it. We try to visit it at least once a year.
80. A month after Angelique was born Richard moved out. I felt like I had failed at everything.
81. 4 months later he moved back, and we have been together ever since. It has not been easy, but we have kept going. (edit 2008: things have changed now, and some of the beliefs I had about what went on at this time have been proved to be wrong)
    
82. On January 3rd 2000 (our second wedding anniversary) I gave birth to Quinn. All 4.47kgs of him. 100% naturally and under-water. It was incredible.
83. On 12 November 2001 our Second son Griffin was born at 4,46kgs, also 100% naturally, not in water as planned because there was no time in the end. I consider the births my greatest achievements to date.
84. I would love to be a mid-wife. I love my mid-wife and was very inspired by her. (I was also honoured to be able to support my sister while she was in labour last year and I loved the experience).
85. I have had 2 one-nights stands and didn't enjoy either of them. I prefer to have an emotional connection.
    
86. I have flirted but not kissed or fooled around with anyone else since meeting Richard. That's over 10 years now! Wow. Clearly out of circulation... (edit 2008: That stayed true until just before my marriage ended and we split up. It was already over and my rings were off before I did anything with anyone else though.)
    
87. Being a parent is TOUGH, but I love it. My life is far better and fuller now that I have children than it was before. I think they give you purpose and a reason to get up in the morning.
88. I think I am reasonably good at being a parent, apart from having a short temper when I am tired.
89. I get on really well with my Dad. I love going to dinner with him and chatting about any and everything. He is very well read and intelligent and we can have very lively debates. I like that I can now stand my ground against him and argue an alternate point of view.
    
90. I have tried several illegal substances, and I enjoyed them - but not enough to make them a habit though. I don't think I have an addictive personality, and I have too strong a mental grip on things to want to fully let go.
    
91. I went to my dream destination – Thailand, to celebrate my turning 30 (and Richard turning 40) it was everything I imagined and more. I loved it!
92. I got a tattoo in Thailand. It is of 2 geckos in a yin-yang shape on my RHS shoulder. I love it.
93. I am proudly South African. I believe this a great country, and it's up to us to look after it. The more I travel the more I believe this to be true. No one else has what we have here.
    
94. I work for Mark Shuttleworth. He has been listed as 18th on the list of Great South Africans.
    
95. I have invested in a movie.
96. I have been in a hot-air balloon.
    
97. I was selected to be a contestant on Fear Factor. I had to decline due to a planned work trip which clashed. Having watched the series, I am glad I did not do it.
    
98. I like to take the good from a bad situation, and use it to learn and grow. Bitterness will kill you.
99. My favourite quote is 'This above all else to thyne own self be true'. It is a good one to live by.
    
100. I believe life gets better over 30, when you really know yourself and are comfortable in yourself.