In June...

I drank Tequila, laughed and danced with friends.

I played pool, and lost, badly.

I watched my country host the FIFA world cup opening and felt really proud.

I went to a comedy festival and laughed and laughed.

I went to a Springbok Test match.

I watch my country play its heart out in the football and although they lost, they had me behind them ALL THE WAY.

I talked to a friend till late in the night.

I played pool, and won.

I went to a live World Cup Soccer match!

I had dinner with 2 very different, but very nice people.

I got beautiful roses from one of them.

I went away for a week end to look for snow. We only found 2 clumps of ice, but had a lovely time anyway.

I ate too much and drank to much.

I didn't exercise enough.

I gained weight.

I lost fitness.

I struggled with my demons.


I realised I am SCARED of intimacy now and avoid it, and run away from people who want to pursue it with me now. I am happy and safe in my head, my heart scares and hurts me.

I realised I have not gone as far as I'd hoped in my journey.

I realised I am not as good a mother as I want to be.

I realised I want and need to do better.

I had a lot of fun in June, but I also struggled a lot.

I am glad it is over...

We are past the solstice and past mid-year, may it be better from here!