I did it...

So I don't know if this was a good or bad decision yet. Or whether it is going to reduce or increase my stress levels... but I HAVE RESIGNED!

Yes, I quit. Just like that. I was trying very hard to be all Zen and stay calm and not let this job affect me physically any more... Cardiologists orders and all...

BUT then while in yet another early-morning ambush meeting, where I was being grilled and then not only myself but also my entire team and project got attacked repeatedly, I could feel my heart start palpitating and I just thought 'SCREW IT!'. Enough was enough. So I stood up and walked out saying I was no longer prepared to accept or deal with it. I handed in my letter of resignation immediately.

Capricious move indeed! Bold? Yes. Impulsive? For sure. Stupid? I sincerely hope not...

Frankly I feel relieved more than anything else. I feel kinda good about it. I think I KNEW it had to happen. So it feels right*... I feel so much better and lighter and calmer already. That project was sucking the life out of me.

For now I hope and trust that it was the right move and that things will fall into place as they must and need to. Wish me luck! Please...

(*Although I may feel differently in 3 weeks time! But most of my team are actively job searching too and there have been a few other resignations this month. People are not happy here right now. Also both PMs on the client side have expressed shock and have asked if I want them to intervene and let me management know they are crazy. This makes me feel a lot better and like less of a failure. But I no longer want to stay, so go I must...)