Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Update and 'leave form' submission

Just in case anyone is looking for me in the next 2 weeks and/or decides to send out a search party if they can't find me... here's an update and my 'leave form'.

I have been working in my new job - still very much learning the ropes, juggling kids, Quinn's (new found) hearing issues, and meeting with the boys' teachers etc (I have had to start telling teachers et al about our home life situation - not fun - but necessary).

I have also been selected as an egg donor - you may remember that I applied in March? I had my psychologist screening assessment yesterday... and it seems I am sane (incredibly! Who knew!?), mature and a good candidate - despite the current craziness in my life, and possible rather bad timing for this.... The psych feels I have been through a lot already in my life, and have developed good coping mechanisms to deal with things. So if I want to go ahead, she is supportive of it. I have decided I do want to do it (although the hormones may be quite disruptive - but it's a short term thing, so I'll deal with it), because I really want to help someone with this, and also to have something positive to focus on in this time of turmoil and negativity. And I want to have at least one good outcome from this year... so it's happening! I meet with the gynae for a general physical healthy screening in just over 2 weeks, and then the ball is really rolling....

The legal process is well underway, regarding our divorce (it's still a bit hard for me to say that word) and our Consent Paper is now finalized and I have signed it off. Richard is meant to sign and return to Lawyer today....

Then tomorrow morning the boys and I head off to Thailand!!!! eeeeeeeeek! yay, help! I still have to pack and so much to organize...

I am equally excited and terrified at the thought, but I think the break will do us all good. Just them and I, and no set routines or responsibilities. I hope they will open up and let me know if they are feeling disturbed by everything, because so far they have just been fine and very mature actually. But I do want them to express how they really feel.

I have been up and down, literally. First lost a few kgs initially, but now am gaining them back radpidly *sulk* ... bloody new-found chocolate addiction! ... But ja, whatever. I have actually decided to give myself a break about this and not pressurize myself too much. I am focusing more on emotions right now, and know that those need to be dealt with first, and general health, and that the rest will follow from there. So right now when eating chocolate in bed at 12am feels right, I am just going with it. ;)

So that's why I have been quite and not very responsive recently.

*hugs* to those that need it, congrats to those with good news. Happy Birthday to those who have had birthdays etc. And general wave to everyone else.

If I am not in touch again before, I'll be back in around 2 weeks.


I am hoping to be more settled once I get back and will hopefully start wanting to see people and be more social. For now I am sticking to a very small group of contacts, and mostly it's just the boys and I, but that feels right for now.


  1. I hope you have an awesome time. You are doing the right thing by concentrating on your (and the boys') emotions right now. Will be thinking of you ... actually, obviously, have been all this time

  2. It is hard saying the words .... but it gets easier. Promise.

    Enjoy your trip.