So this is 40!

I turned 40 last week Wednesday on 30 April 2014.

I was not scared or worried about being 40. I know a lot of people get anxious and depressed about it but, as with most things in life, I don't fight or resist change or inevitability. So it was not something I was overly fussed about it. But it did feel like a significant milestone birthday and I wanted to commemorate and decided that it was time to have a really proper grown-up birthday party too.

I decided to theme it 'My Year of 40' to incorporate both my 40th Birthday and also my 40-week surro-baby project.

I can't say I feel anymore grown-up or proper now that I am 40, but more than anything else my birthday wish was to get to see and socialise with those I love.

It was a fabulous birthday!

I worked on the actual day of my birthday, but took a huge cake and snacks to work, only for my amazing team to surprise me with them all bringing cake and snacks too and a huge pamper hamper of stunning gifts and a fab card. We had enough food to feed a small African country!

I left early and went for a divine facial and foot rub. Then the boys and I packed up and went through to A's house where we met up with my sister and her 2 kiddies and my dad who had flown in from Pretoria. I cook and we had a lovely family dinner and catch-up and I was spoiled by them too!

On Thursday, which was a public holiday (Worker's Day) I went to get my hair cut and styled and then went to my house to make a cake for my party. I wente back to prep for a party for 50 people. We had a stunning cocktail party on A's deck with the most perfect weather and most stunning sunset ever. It was so nice to be surrounded by my bestest people in the world, including my dad, sister, boys, nephew & niece, my yoga teacher, most of team awesome and some of the other cool people I work with and spend every day with and my dear friends.

We turned the downstairs area a theatre and put on a private showing of the show 'Dirty Words' which A and I saw recently and which is acted by one of the guys I do yoga with (who is a theatre director usually). It was risque, edgy, hilarious and went down very well based on the reaction from everyone.

The cake I made.

Oh and I had a slideshow running through the evening with photos of me, the boys and almost everyone there. Showing memories of fun time, adventures, travels, shenanigans etc. I had some baby pics too. It worked great and I think I managed to get pics of everyone in there, so it seemed to be enjoyed a lot, lots of people pointed and laughed during the evening.

Then despite my protestations and insistence on no fuss or attention both A and my dad did speeches and completely overwhelmed me with their kind words and thoughtfulness.

It really was the best birthday ever and I felt very blessed, special and loved.

I have a few photos on my camera, but sadly I was a bit busy mingling with all my precious people that I just didn't get around to taking photos. I sort of regret that, but ultimately enjoying the experience was more valuable and important.

Over a week later my bedroom is still full of beautiful looking and smelling flowers and cards.

This is what I wrote when reflecting on my birthday and where I am in my life. 

"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy."

I like to choose happiness and gratitude  as far as possible. In life you can focus on the negatives and the bad things, but those hold us back, and affect our health and fulfilment. Or I think you can focus on that which is good, and which brings you joy and makes you feel happy. And I have much to be happy and grateful for! So just a few of the things which I am grateful for and which bring my happiness are :

-          My precious, wonderful beautiful boys. They bring me joy, fun, laughter, love and happiness. They are my life’s work and I hope they will grow up with fond memories of me and their childhoods.

-          My family and friends (some of whom have been like family to me). I am not always good at staying in touch but I am grateful for all the fun, companionship, mischief, love and laughter we have shared. The slide show is to celebrate and remember some of those good times.

-          My health. That I can run and leap and climb mountains and do anything I put my mind to. I love being active. It makes me feel happy and alive.

-          Yoga. Marjolein my dear teacher of over 16 years now, who has seen me through all my pregnancies, broken ankle, aches and pains and continues to encourage, and inspire me with every week. Everyone who knows me knows that my yoga time each week is sacred and I don’t give it up easily for anyone or anything. For years and years I was known as ‘pregnant Jane’ at yoga, as I was there right to the end of each of my pregnancies and back straight after, and then developed my passion for all things pregnancy and birth related and became a doula. This brings me to.

-          This pregnancy and birth journey I am on now. I have always wanted to do this again. To experience a pregnancy and birth again, and to immerse myself in it and have the birth I have always wanted. I am very very grateful and blessed to have the opportunity to fulfill this dream of a life-time now.

-          A. Who has been amazing. He is so kind and generous in a multitude of ways, and has given me the opportunity to see and experience wondrous things, travel and have adventures in amazing places and meet incredible people. It has been an amazing journey, and it has been a real privilege and treat to experience someone so mature, aware and easy to get along with. It’s thanks to him that I get to experience the life adventure I am on now. Thank-you for everything!

-          My job and more so my incredible team - TEAM AWESOME. I could not ask for a more fun, interesting, stimulating and rewarding job than I have and my team is simply phenomenal. Their passion, spirit drive and can do attitude make going to work an absolute pleasure.

There is of course so much more and I could go on forever, but all I want to say is, life is great and if the past is anything to go by it gets better and better, so here’s to being 40, which so far is pretty awesome.

Thank-you all for coming, more than anything else for my birthday I just wanted to see and be with all the special people in my life.

And given a choice always BE AWESOME!