Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Saturday, 28 January 2012

It hurt - and then I cried....

I cried last night, for the first time in months...

I had a few small things go wrong in the early evening, but nothing too majorly catastrophic (was late, got stuck in traffic, ended up dropping the scouts off a bit late in Tokai, after scratching the back of my car with the bikes I was transporting, and then my iPOD was fucked up again. NO!? Why???) but the result was that my imagined relaxing run, while the scouts rode, started off a bit harried and thwarted. But off I went anyway and after crossing to lower Tokai plantation and running about 2km the feeling of 'oh how kak everything is' started to dissipate. I was giving myself a self-talk about how none of it was that bad and, even though I had a long cycle planned for the morning and a tight schedule, I'd have to just suck it up and sort out the iPOD and deal with one thing at a time etc... And just as I was feeling better and enjoying myself....


I fell fast and really hard and with no time to even put my arms out. I fell full force on my left elbow, forearm and  hip and right knee. Spread eagled flat on the ground. Wump! Breathless. I felt/heard a crack and it was just like my broken ankle incident where you straight away think - oh shit, this is not good.

I have no idea what happened. But I think I totally missed a little step and stepped in front instead of, instead of on it, but I actually have no idea, it was just a brain misfire or something...

It was so sore I saw stars and just lay on the ground for several minutes. Scared to try to get up or assess the damage too closely. When I got up, I was in in such pain, and both relived that no one was around to see, but also felt terribly alone and vulnerable at the same time... and unexpectedly I burst into tears. LOL (I didn't even cry when I broke my ankle!).

I felt so helpless and broken. Defeated, and 'tired' I guess. But I had to suck it up and drag myself the rest of the way and back to meet the scouts in time. I had blood down my shorts and was covered in gravel and dust.

It was farking sore. And I looked and felt quite pathetic. Limping along and hugging my arm with bleeding elbow into the stomach.

I went home once I'd sorted all kids and lifts out, had a hot bath, cleaned myself up, took and anti-inflammatory and fixed my iPOD again (and cursed stupid iTunes - again).

I struggled to find a way to lie in bed which didn't hurt but this morning I am better and not worse... so off for that long Argus training cycle it is then! Despite the mad wind.

Wish me luck!


  1. Oh I feel so sorry for you - I do hope the damage proves to be minimal in the long run.

  2. Oh no :( Sorry man! Sometimes a good cry is JUST what we need!!!

    Hope there is no serious damage!!

  3. That is just the WORST feeling. Especially when you're airborne and the realisation hits you before the ground does, 'I'm going down'. Seriously not a good feeling!
    I'm really glad you didn't break anything this time.
    (And I totally would have bawled my eyes out!)
    Good luck with the Argus training. It doesn't look like we will be coming down this year.