Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

WWYD? Maintenance

What are your views on maintenance?
Should the father have to pay?

What if he was unstable and lost his job and had nothing?
What if he hadn't been in contact for over 3 years?
What if you had never got a cent from him at all since the day of your divorce well over 4 years ago?

What if he is working now and seems to be more stable and coping?

What if you had been stoically and proudly coping ON YOUR OWN all this time?

What if you contacted him simply to request consent for changing the children's surnames and renewing passports, nothing else, but this was blocked and ignored? (passport renewal in his name now agreed)

What if there was a very real risk you'd lose your job soon due to the company facing financial difficulties?

What if your children are tired of sharing and having hand-me-downs and second-hand goods and budget and non-name everything and THEY are asking you to pursue him for maintenance?

What Would You Do?

What should I do??

This is tough, very tough. Yest again I am sucking it up because I don't want to rock the boat or upset him (God know I have spent enough of my life facilitating him and pussy footing around so as not to upset HIM), but is it best for MY CHILDREN? Really?? I thought it was, now I am not so sure. I think I am effectively doing them out of opportunities but being proudly and adamantly independent and self-sufficient.

Any advice or opinions on this VERY WELCOME.

1 comment:

  1. Flip man Jane this is a tough one!!!

    The thing is it is highly unlikely you ask for Rx and he says Yes sure, here you go each month on time - EVEN if you get a court order.

    The fight is going to be YOURS - you are going to have to sit in maintenance court, you are going to have to stress each month if he will or not, you are going to have to go back to fight if he didn't.

    Loads of women mail me asking my advise - I always tell them to fight but I also tell them the fight is a long, hard one.

    Maybe have a "line" - so start the process - I am not sure how it works if he is in a different province but chances are you wont even have to see him. But then set a limit and then say I tried but enough is enough now.

    Does that make sense?