Somewhere over the weekend I lost my sense of humor. I wasn’t expecting to lose it and was caught off guard when I did. I had it on Saturday night while we had sushi. I was even feeling pretty good on Sunday morning when we went to Wimpy and then played in the park.... but somewhere between 4pm on Sunday and now it's totally gone...
Sometimes it seems that no matter how hard I try to make everything be ok with everyone and everything that is going on in my life, I just can't make it happen. There is always another curve-ball. Another problem, another knock, another demand, another issue.... And every time I dare to feel even a bit - dare I say it? - HAPPY, the harder I am knocked down again. It's like I can't actively be happy, or admit that someone or something makes me happy, because then it stops, goes away, or gets taken from me.
My kids, my life, winter, myself, and just feeling so very responsible for everything all the time is wearing me down. I feel responsible for all the problems, for not being good enough, for not being in control of myself, not being a good mom, not being a good employee, not being a good daughter, sister. You name it. Just not enough.
I've lost my sense of humor. The one thing I have always always had. I want it back!
(((HUGS))) I know the feeling very well. I've just read a friend's blog, and this might interest you... It might be too uplifting for where you are right now, but I quite like the idea of the emails she gets
ReplyDeletehttp://natzgal.wordpress.com/2008/08/05/touching-the-light/
I can so relate to how you are feeling right now. BUT it will get better, maybe not today or tomorrow or maybe not even this year, but it WILL get better. Just go with what you are feeling and what is happening, you can't fight it (to a certain extent) but you can learn from it, regroup and eventually move on and find yourself again.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if this made ANY sense, LOL. Feel free to ignore me.
It sucks. All the change your life is going through. The stress and trying to keep it all together. If in the process you loose a bit of your humor, it's okay. You'll get it back.
ReplyDeleteHUGS