Random Thoughts for today

Just some random thoughts and notes-to-self mulling in my head today:

1) When you have put on some weight and your butt is somewhere between orange peel and cottage cheese, do NOT wear creamy beige pants - not flattering! ESPECIALLY when the company CEO is in the country for a visit, AND you are spending all day in work shops. Your kids do not call your butt 'blobby blobby' for nothing! *blushe*

2) My feet are cramping something chronic and I feel very 'flat'. I think it is a combination of far too much stress, needing vitamins and a proper balanced diet. I am either eating too much (often) and then compensate by eating too little for a few days. Recently when I run/walk I have been feeling a bit weird and 'out of body' it is a tad concerning. I don't think I am about to have a heart attack or anything, but I do think it is underlying anxiety just making me feel odd.

3) My jaw is very tight again. I had TMJ problems in 2002 - my jaw seized up and I had to have an MRI and a facio-maxillal surgeon wanted to operate!. At the time I fixed it with physio, acupuncture, relaxation exercises and the getting my abs repaired (I had abdominus rectis separation from giant pregnancies). Anyway the problem is now coming back. I need to relax more. And have more light hearted fun. I keep my tension in my jaw. It is not good!

4) I was too lazy to go for a run tonight, even though I did have the opportunity. I just felt tired - I actually felt cold and shaky at work earlier. I thought I might have been getting sick, but it may just have been blood sugar related.... Anyway instead the boys and I went to the park with Roxy. I had a lot of fun. I played a bit of tennis (until Quinn hit the ball over a wall *hurumph*), skate boarded a bit - I am getting better!, J-boarded (ok I lie, I stood on it and Q pulled me along for a few meters and then let go and I promptly fell off with a swawk.). I also rode on the push scooter, and bicycle and then we played 'aeroplanes' for a bit.

5) On the way home I found a mulberry tree and went to eat some. I felt like I was 6 years old again. I loved it! YUM.

6) I love my current job. It is fun and varied, interesting and there is a really nice team. I would really like to stay there. Now I just need the company to survive this financial crisis so they don't have to lay anyone else off. PLEASE!

7) I miss doula'ing. I'd really like to get back to it soon, but I just don't have the capacity atm. It makes me sad. If/when the insanity of my life settles down to the point of having regular and predictable time to myself I am going to go and volunteer at Mowbray Maternity again. I realised the other day I could still do that with limited time, as I can go there as and when I can, and it solves my issue with not being able to go out at night or during working hours. I definitely can't take private clients at the moment though. One day...

8) I don't want to be in a relationship right now. I like being able to what I want - because I have so little capacity for freedom right now, but late at night at bed time I like having my own thoughts and being able to read, listen to the radio, watch crap on my laptop and just do what I want to do.

9) I would like a bit of wine, dine and 69ing on occasion though... ;) (But no serious, move in, or emo crap thanks.)

10) I wish Richard would just move on already. Seriously. I am so done.

11) I LOVE my boys LOTS. But I do want a break from them right now. Just a small one. I am kind of getting tired about thinking of them first ALL the time. I want to go for a massage, have a long bath without noise and just have some peace!

12) I have spent a LOT of money this week. On paying legal and home maintenance bills.

13) I have more of a relationship with my MIL now than I did when I was married. I have been witting to her more or less monthly to keep her up to speed with what is going on and sending her pictures of the boys etc.

14) I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious by all this end of year activity, there is so much to do! The schools are full of demands, as is everyone else, and then it will be both boy's birthdays soon too. Can I just skip it all? Please?

15) I booked for the boys and I to go to 5 Kirstenbosch Summer Sunset concerts today... more $$$, but wtf, they are worth it! We are going to: Freshly Ground, Watershed, Just Jinger, The Parlotones & The Dirty Skirts. They should all be great! Let me know if you'll be there!

16) I want to go out for Margaritas! Or heck straight tequila would be good too! And maybe a bit of pool ;)

17) I am off to see the Parlotones at Barnyard on Saturday with Lisa. It will be my 5th time seeing them. I can't wait!

18) I am hoping to get to check out the new VA Claremont gym on Saturday. I hear it is nice. I am scared to weigh myself. I know it is not going to be pretty :/ Bugger!

19) I'll be at the SA Music Day at Lourensford Estate on 15 November. It seems the only time I ever get out at all any more is to music events... SA music rocks though and I love these things.

20) WTF can my children not be in water (pool or bath) without arguing!? It drives me craazeee!!!

That's all for now...