Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Tuesday, 5 January 2010


1. Today I feel... a bit slow, deflated, and distracted. Mentally fuzzy. But otherwise good.
2. This week… is the start of a new year, new decade, new job (well same but different, we're being outsourced), my boy turned 10, C and I have known each other for 6 months, I got a new car.
3. Last night… was awesome!
4. Lately the song stuck in my head is… The Middle (Jimmy Eat World)

Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

It just takes some time,
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)

You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else."

5. My New Years eve… was wild, fun and fantastic, but I went a bit overboard. It was not pretty. BUT although I tried to hide away and deal with myself alone like I always do, this time there were people wanting to take care of me. So although I embarrassed myself. It was kind of nice totally relinquishing control. I mean I was ( or rather had to be) put to bed! (note that that was a first, and I have only gone this over my limit about a handful of times ever)
6. This year I’m looking forward to… moving on, unencumbered by the past and being ME.
7. What big lesson/s did you learn in 2009? That I can survive alone, and do it well. I can fix a toaster, keep the pool clean, make a fire, braai meat, swig beer, run a half marathon, take the kids on holiday, all on my own. BUT I also learned that I actually do want someone in my life, and I might even concede that sometimes I actually need someone. Not to take care of day to day practical stuff, but to feed my love languages of physical touch and quality time. I have a need to be loved.


  1. My word, that's a lot of new stuff going on there. Good luck with all the change that's coming.
    Everyone needs to be loved and feel safe :) hope you find your safe spot soon

  2. "It's only in your head you feel left out, Or looked down on."

    Jane you are so lovely. It's going to be a great year x x x Well done on letting other people be there for you. Its as much in the receiving as in the giving. x x x

  3. I'm thrilled for you. It's going to be your year 20-Zen!