Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Tuesday, 19 May 2009


I think I have been patient... more than patient, but now I am fucking frustrated!!! I could pull my hair out.

I was officially divorced on 2 September 2008. That's more than 8 months ago. You'd think that was plenty of time to sort out the paper work. Right? ... Well think again!

Richard decide to include the house in my side of the divorce agreement at the (literal) eleventh hour. So we changed our divorce agreement on the DAY of our divorce, just an hour before I appeared in court, to reflect this change. It was HIS decision and HIS request. Not mine.

And so it was decreed that the house was to be transferred into my name. I knew the result of this was that I was getting everything. Not only the house but also the responsibility of paying for it in its entirety. I wasn't actually sure if I could do this, but I knew I'd find a way. I'd have to.

So I started the maddening process of applying to get the bond transferred into my name and hit endless challenges and issues with the banks, including being told I didn't even qualify for a bond that big! It was hugely stressful, time consuming and difficult for me, but I slogged on through it all while holding down my job, sorting out all the other divorce admin and changes, maintaining my household alone, looking after my children, getting them through school and arranging therapy for them to deal with the divorce and all the shit their father was putting them through with his unstable and self-absorbed behaviour.

I eventually managed to get a bank to agree to grant me a bond and got all the legal documents, inspections, valuations, etc. ad infinitum arranged and done. On 19 December 2008 I signed all the documents in triplicate. It was finally all sorted out. All that remained was Richard's signature on the forms and the transfer was expected to go through within a matter of weeks.

Fast forward to 19 May 2009.

Those documents are STILL not signed. He is now evidently unemployed and has decided to stop paying his accounts. The bond is now at least 2 months in arrears. It seems our medical aid and life insurance is about to lapse, and the bank may just decide to repossess our freaking home. Because the stupid fucking shit is too lazy to BOTHER to go sign the god damn documents!!!

I may decide to delete this post soon. But OMG I can not hold this in any more. I can not wait to be free of this shit and once the house is sorted out I will no longer deal with anything administrative with him again!

His bank and other institutions are phoning me to find out where he is. He doesn't answer his phone or emails or anything. His way of dealing with a problem is to hide away and pretend it's not there.

I knew this was going to happen and I knew when I got the house that he was going to disappear in some way and the boys and I would be on our own.

Just when I thought things were slowly starting to come right and that there was hope that we could talk and get along again....

Sjoe man this makes me SO tired.


  1. Argh!!!! This is so terrible freaking frustrating!!

    I mean HOW hard is it to sign a piece of paper!!!!!

    I really hope you guys figure out a way around this and can work something out!

  2. I can understand your frustration and anger. It would totally freak my out, because like Laura said, how hard is it to bloody well sign the papers????

    I hope everything gets sorted out Jane!!!!

  3. I can only imagine how absolutely fed up you are with Richard's shit.

  4. don't give up Jane. keep your eye on the ball and push through the pain.

    when they behave like f*kwits it makes our stomach turn..... they can't break us - but they sure as hell try.

  5. I am sorry you have to deal with this crap.

  6. Oh my word! How frustrating!!!

  7. What a poopall! I hope it all get's sorted for you Jane.

  8. I can't begin to imagine how frustrated you must be. My only advice is what Wouter always tells me: Don't get mad, get what you want.

    Hope you get this sorted out soon!


  9. Moaning Myrtle20 May 2009 at 17:08

    I can't believe he has done this - men! Hope you ok and just look out for you and your kids.

  10. I can't believe he's left you in the KAK again.