Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Apparently I shepperd-parent

We were chatting in the car this morning and I was asking Quinn about school, and homework and if he was coping, and how he was finding it all and feeling about being in High School etc. 

Seems he is loving high school so far, and loves the depth and detail they are getting into in subject (he is similar to me in that he likes MORE info and the bigger picture, so he can understand a whole system and then see how a smaller part fits in. Rather than just being told to remember a rule or small part in isolation - just cos).

Anyway, I asked if I am supposed to be signing his homework diary. He said no. He then went on to explain that the diaries are only checked to make sure they are being organised and noting down things they need to, and NOT to check for parents signatures. He says if anything they are trying to check that parents are NOT doing everything for their kids anymore. LOL. No risk of that with us!

I told him that while I am possibly too hands-off, I have always thought it's best to give them responsibility and accountability for themselves, as that's the goal of parenting and growing up. You have to decide what you want and how to get it. If you want to be lazy and never do anything you CAN. BUT you have to understand the consequences. If you bum around at school and do badly and then can't get into university you severely limit your future choices, so you really need to think about whether it is worth letting that happen etc.

In the end of the discussion I said. I am not one of those parents who runs their childrens lives for them. And he said... no you aren't you are like a shepherd-parent. You lead us from behind, but let us go in front and chose our own direction first.


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