Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Going well

So after Saturday's post about not being able to sleep very well since the break in in September and feeling vulnerable, I have ironically slept really well. I suspect it is a combination between having finally worked through to the 5th step of the 'healing/grieving process' of Acceptance, as well as doing some CBT on myself.

Basically you think something through, then actively change your behaviour and then it changes your instinctive/subconscious thought patterns in turn. I used to lie awake thinking I could hear someone breaking in the house and then not be able to go to sleep. Now I make myself believe everything is fine, and to think relaxing thoughts and I am going to sleep about 2 hours earlier and sleeping MUCH better. It can snowball either way - positive or negative but you CAN direct it.

So I make sure my evenings are more relaxed and productive now, and don't let myself get too wound up. I am doing less noise & laptop stuff and more bathing & reading and stuff. Then I think positive thoughts and don't let my mind go down the negative 'what if' or 'is that sound something bad?' path, but rather assume that things are fine. I have managed to go to bed no later than 11pm for 4 nights now, fallen asleep pretty easily and had a good night's sleep. When I wake up in the night I snuggle down again and go to sleep without thinking bad thoughts, after a cursory quick listen. I have decided that worrying about it really is pointless and is not going to help at all. So I am just not going to!

I am also trying to apply a bit of NLP to my daily life. Your internal (and external) dialogue can be quite powerful too. So I have been actively trying to put myself down less and not be so self deprecating - even in joking ways, and value MYSELF. Because that's the only way others will value you. Know what I mean?

Think Positive

If you think you are beaten - you are.
If you think you dare not - you don't.
Success begins with your own will...
It's all in your state of mind.
Life's battles are not always won
By those who are stronger or faster
sooner or later the person who wins;
Is the person who thinks he can!

Then another update on Quinn and his progress in Grade 4. I think you'll remember my saga a few weeks ago with Quinn's teacher and saying he was not coping at all with Grade 4?

Since then I have upped his extra homework at home (additional to all the after-care homework), been very consistent about making sure he stays on top of everything, and giving him extra input and attention. He has been doing well in all his tests since from what I can tell (14/15 for spelling tests and 27/30 for his science test etc), and seems to really be ENJOYING learning. (He loves attention too so its win-win)

Well I emailed the teacher on Friday to ask how he is doing, and to find out if she wants to see me again before the end of the term. She rewponded...

I have been meaning to make contact. His handwriting is 100% better. He still from time to time makes very careless errors when copying from the board. I suspect that he is not looking at the board and just writes his own words. He is working much better, is more organized and is coping far better with all the Grade Four demands.

I am so pleased. I was feeling so despondent after that first meeting. Although it is hard to find the time to get it all done, it is actually rather rewarding. YAY!


  1. very inspiring. i am going to aim for less laptopping and more grade 4 homework too.

    great how things can turn around, and how quickly.

    Yay for you.

  2. You sound so much more relaxed - glad you got some good sleep. Worrying is difficult to stop but NLP is great and true - why worry about things you can't change. And life is too short to be negative, so good on you for being so positive. Have a great day. xx

  3. WTG Quinn - that is great.

    Glad to hear you are feeling more relaxed.

  4. Thanks Meriel. Oh are 'you' doing grade 4 too? ;) I believe I'll be meeting you soon!? ;) Do you have a blog btw? You know so much about me, I need to do my homework on YOU!

    Thanks Myrtle. :) I have never been much of a worrier, but I realised that the insecurity has crept in since the break-in, not nice. I'm taking charge again though.

    Thanks for the support Jax.

  5. Yah good for you Jane. I've bookmarked your link to CBT and going to read it in bed tonight.
    Way to go Quinn. You must be so proud!

  6. Look how fabulous you are!!

  7. ;-) Yup I'm in Grade 4 for the second time, cos my eldest is in Grade 8.

    Looking forward to dinner. Will Facebook friend you.

  8. So glad you are sleeping better, and regarding Quinn...wooohoooo!!!!