Stuff currently current

This meme is copied from Laura - its all about what's currently happening in your life.

Current Book:

Shantaram - by Gregory David Roberts. It is an EPIC novel which is taking me FOREVER to read (been surfing the net far too much instead), but I am finally getting into it and look forward to reading at night.

Current Play List:

1. Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

2. Stereophonics - Dakota

3. King of Leon - Use Somebody

4. All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure:

Eating peanut butter, straight out of the jar.

Current Colour:

Bright Pink. I have suddenly taken to it and am embracing my girliness... I used to hide from it or try to not be a 'girl'.

Current Passion(s):

Being with a warm, real, expressive, open, emotionally honest and quite visceral man. One who immediately after our first (rather spectacular) real life meeting just one short week after first meeting on-line, went away for 10-day to work on the other side of the world and was bold enough to feature ME (me!?) in his travel journal...

"There was a girl called Jane last night. A first-time meeting of mind and spirit, soul and body. But somehow it was not like the first time at all. Shared understanding, synchronicity, a deeper knowing, all of this simmered between us, synching back to a communal source of serendipity. Instinctual, visceral, wise, fuckable, independent, straight-shooting, inquiring, hold-you-in-my-arms-forever Jane. I don’t know you, but I do so know you.

And so, after 48 hours of not sleeping, I’m brain-dead in Brazil, with Jane in my head."

I am STILL pretty blown away by that. No one I have ever been with has ever been that open or honest or expressive. I am used to the cool and nononchalant and almost 'do I even know you?' treatment from guys afterwards. You know, cos they don't do emotional or deep meaning. *rolls eyes* In fact if anything that's how I am now!

Current Drink:

Savannah or beer or wine.

Current Food:

Sushi or Salmon salads.

Current Wish List:

Just taking each day as it comes, enjoying small pleasures and special moments. I guess my wish would be that things can and will continue as they are.

Current Need:

I have no real NEEDS. I want to see Jacques again soon though.

Current Triumph:

Surviving on my own with 2 kids and everything that involves - although I always knew I could and would. I can do it all with no help from anyone else. I do accept, and employ, help at times though!

Current Bane of my Existence:

My ex - the situation is getting REALLY old now, and has not worked out half as amicably or functional as I had really hoped. On the plus side at least I have no doubts about leaving him, it was 100% the right thing to do... I should have done it way sooner actually. But I did want to try.

Unfortunately it is make me feel unbalanced, out of control and actually quite depressed. I NEED a resolution one way or another. I can't take the uncertainly and upheaval anymore. It is completely exhausting and affects every other aspect of my life too. Truth be told I think I have been quite depressed this week. I MUST move on, otherwise I fear I'll start to sabotage the good stuff in my life... :(

Current Indulgence:

Salmon. I have been buying smoked salmon for myself for the past month or 2, just small portions at at time for making sushi or yummy salads for dinner. And of course many watermelons.

Current #1 Blessing:

Having met a wonderful caring and 'unbroken' man. I am still scared to talk about it, or admit feeling happy, for fear that I will jinx it all.

(In my marriage - for the last few years anyway - any time I felt or acted or expressed that I felt content and happy, everything would fall apart again. So now I fear being too happy and especially feeling complacent.)

Current Slang or Saying:

FUCK! - I say it a lot, in all it's glorious variants, with careless abandon!

I also like ass-hat and ass-clown.

Current Outfit:

Today, jeans and a bright pink flowing shirt.

Current Excitement:

All the hope and anticipation in my life at the moment. I am open to new experiences and learning and growing.

Current Mood:

Dare I say it? Happy.

Current Picture(s):

Quinn and I on Camps Bay Beach on 4 Jan 2009.

Griffin and I in Grabouw Beach on 22 Dec 2008.

Jacques and I at Kirstenbosch 11 Jan 2009.