How to deal with a creep 101

On Friday I went for a run to gym and on the way back was walking along grin on my face listening to music on my iPOD. This bergie-type dude was standing on the side of the road ahead of me. He grinned as I passed so I smiled back. Being friendly and happy...

Next thing he is walking next to me trying to make conversation. I couldn't hear him over the iPOD so I said 'Sorry dude, I don't have time to chat now' and merrily walked on. A few paces on I realise the guy is walking right next to me now, like basically touching my arm. So I say 'Dude if I wanted to be walking with you I would be, but I am not so leave me alone now.' He grinned and sort of backed off so I walked on. After a few paces I turned around and now he was just behind me with his hand in his pants.

This is where I drop my friendliness and approachability. I went into autopilot. I stopped stood facing him directly and sternly said 'HEY! DON'T make me f*** you up. I will kick you in the face!' Boy did he back off fast, apologize, and slink away. EK VAT NIE KAK NIE in a situation like that!!

I think that's why people don't mess with me! Seriously though I think the trick is to be confident and firm and not show any fear or vulnerability. I seem to do this naturally and it is empowering.

 I have to wonder what creeps like that are thinking?? Jerks!

You don't need me any more

My darling sister Belinda - who took me to the U2 concert last month so that I could have a new and better memory of a U2 concert, after losing Angelique just after the first one 13 years ago - sent me the link to this song for Angelique's 13th birthday.

Thank-you Bee for always being so thoughtful, caring and supportive of me. You really have become my rock. I love you.

Angelique:  Fly little angel... you don't need me any more.

U2 - " Kite "

Something
Is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is

I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness
It sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don't need me any more
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Which way the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It's somewhere I can taste the salty sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me

I'm a man
I'm not a child
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Where the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement

The last of the rocks stars
When hip-hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
What was the big idea

Constantia Village 15km running race

So I ran the Constantia Village 15km race 2 weeks ago. I was a little nervous because I have never run a 15km event before. I usually stick to 10km races, and I have done 4x half marathons, but the last one I had flu and had to walk most of it and then got quite sick from even attempting to run with flu and then I broke my ankle. So getting back on track has been a challenge. Anyway I dragged myself out of bed before 5am on Saturday 12 March and took myself off to Constantia Village to find a surprisingly large feild lining up for the race. I have no idea this race attracts more than 2 500 people! Wow.

Anyway the race started and followed a lovely interesting and undulating route around the gorgeous areas of Constantia and Tokia.I had a quick pee-break behind a big tree at 7km, and then nearly lost my shorts when I ran off without fastening them properley! Ooops. But still I felt really good for the first 10+ km.Which incidently was right near 'new guy's' house. The last 5km were a little tougher but I was still good up to 13km when my ankle did start to niggle a little. Still I persevered.

I ended up crossing the finish line at 1:21:05, whcih I was very happy with. I had hoped to crack 1:30, and hopefully 1:25, so I did a fair amount better than that.

The reslts are out and can be found HERE

I ahev analysed my results and they are as follows.

I came 744th out of total of 2539 finishers - top 29%

I came 151st out of total of 1249 females - top 12%

I came 24th out of total of 165 females in 35-40 Category - top 15%

I came 107th out of total of 317 all in 35-40 Category - top 34%

I came 1st out of 5 Janes :) <- if you analyse enough you can find SOME way to win! ;)

Happy 13th Birthday Angelique

Angelique would have been 13 today. Wow! I can hardly believe it has been that long...

We are going to Spur to celebrate her birthday tonight and do our own little version of 'Thanksgiving' to mark the occasion.

I feel completely fine about it. Although it is still a vivid memory and pivotal event in my life which I will never forget, it is not something that I dwell on or feel huge grief or sadness over any more. It's still a big part of my life and history, part of who I am and how I got here. But it is a functional and assimilated part. I feel we have completely processed the whole thing and moved on WHOLE. KWIM?

Weirdly when I woke up this morning I thought of 'Juliette' my sister's new baby - who looks just like Angelique did and reminds me so much of her. I had to remember that her name is in fact Angelique and not Juliette. Ooops. But really Juliette and my little donor baby girl have helped me to heal and get closure from it all. It's all been part of the journey and it's been a  good journey. She is part of us all.

I heard her song last night though which is still bitter sweet... she was born just after we'd been to the U2 concert in 1998, where they'd played this song (they played it again when I saw it last month and it did make me tearful there)...

U2 - With Or Without You



See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you

Camping Week-End - Waterval

Ilse (aka sweetest person ever) invited the boys and I to go camping with them over the week-end. And Oh Em Gee (as the kids kept saying ALL week-end) what a blast we had!

We went to Waterval just outside Porterville... and it is just WOW.
http://www.laatson.co.za/
http://www.pietpetoors.com/waterval/4.php

The camp site is right on a lovely bubbling cool stream, and there is a small dam nearby. The camp itself is fairly basic... BUT if you walk up the river into the ravine. Which requires a bit of hiking, ladder climbing and rock scrambling, you can ascend the mountain and follow the river past 22+ waterfalls and they are stunningly beautiful and so much fun. The boys were grinning from ear to ear all the way up and down, and we went hiking up the ravine for 4-5 hours each day. It was amazing. WE LOVED IT!

It was a stinking hot week-end so although the hike was a long hot slog, the water is crisp and cold and we stopped off at many of the waterfalls to take a swim, jump, slide, surf... you get the idea.

Day 1


Day 2


FB Album here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?fbid=10150110235111923&id=652081922&aid=284247

The boys have thanked me so many times for taking them there!

Oh and my 2 best best part was when we were packing up yesterday I heard one of the boys we'd been playing cricket with ask the boys if they were leaving and when they said yes he asked how they were getting home. They said 'With my mom', so he said 'Oh, who is your mom?', to which they replied 'Jane'. He said, 'What? Is she an ADULT!?' Hahahaha. I love him!

Pretty, pretty please

Pink – Fuckin’ Perfect

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missundaztood
Miss “no way it’s all good”
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re f**kin’ perfect to me
You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
See you same
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
Fuckin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re f**kin’ perfect to me
The world stares while I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and I tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Stringe ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, f**kin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you’re f**kin’ perfect, to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect
Pretty, pretty please don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less then, f**king perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you’re f**king perfect to me

I can run properly again! First post-ankle-break race.

I ran the Men's Health 10km Race at Moullie Point Lighthouse last night and it was FANTASTIC.

The weather was perfect and I felt good and I actually enjoyed the race. My ankle was fine (I am SO thrilled about that) and incredibly I finished in 52:13, which is my second fastest 10km time ever. My best time is 51:33 (on a course with a few hills and a nice fast down hill), otherwise I usually do more like 53-55 mins. 

YAY!!!!   

No one could believe it, including me. So although I did not win my beer challenge, because some of my freinds are INSANELY fit and fast, and my friend Johan finished in 38 mins!  I still did well and was within a minute or 2 of most of the others and I did beat a few of them too.

    
I am so chuffed. Like REALLY. I had no idea how well I was doing and couldn't gauge how much speed and fitness I had lost. Last night I felt strong so I deduced that it was cos I was running slowly, but I wasn't!