Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Tuesday 31 January 2012

'Cause what's in a name - You can call me anything you want

Today's SOTD...

This one caught my ear recently.... I have a very random/meaningless name. And I have been very tongue in cheek and light heartedly debating using another one that relates more to me with A. Nothing has stuck yet though...


FLORENCE + THE MACHINE - "Remain Nameless"

I was born in a big grey cloud
Screaming out a love song
All the broken chords and unnamed cries
What a place to come from

I wish to remain nameless
And live without shame
'Cause what's in a name, oh
I still remain the same

You can call it what you want
You can call me anything you want
You can call us what you want
You can call me anything you want

Everybody lets you down
In this brief? hole of a town
What a difference of the rushing out
Tell me what you're running from

I know everybody lets you down
And I'll do the same
But know I'll always be around
This can remain the same

Call me when you need me
Call me anything you want
Darling believe me
Nothing I haven't done before

Call me when you need me
Call me when you need me
Darling believe me
Darling believe me

Call me when you need me

I did it! 10 000kms!

As of tonight I have run 10 000km, on the dot!
Since I started counting - somewhere in October 2005 shortly after I started running.

I was excited when I first 'got to' Bloemfontein.


It took me some time but I got to 5000km back in May 2009

 Now on 31 January 2012 I have run 10000km!!!
 Wow, that is the distance from the North Pole to the Equator. (pretty much exactly, since that is how the definition of a meter was defined/derived; 1/10000000 of that distance is 1m!). I think I may take a short rest now before I carry on all the way to the South Pole. Wish me luck!

My boys both high-fived me when I got home tonight and told me they are proud of me and very impressed. Both said, 'Niiice!', and Quinn said, 'That's quite a big achievement mom!' :)

Saturday 28 January 2012

It hurt - and then I cried....

I cried last night, for the first time in months...

I had a few small things go wrong in the early evening, but nothing too majorly catastrophic (was late, got stuck in traffic, ended up dropping the scouts off a bit late in Tokai, after scratching the back of my car with the bikes I was transporting, and then my iPOD was fucked up again. NO!? Why???) but the result was that my imagined relaxing run, while the scouts rode, started off a bit harried and thwarted. But off I went anyway and after crossing to lower Tokai plantation and running about 2km the feeling of 'oh how kak everything is' started to dissipate. I was giving myself a self-talk about how none of it was that bad and, even though I had a long cycle planned for the morning and a tight schedule, I'd have to just suck it up and sort out the iPOD and deal with one thing at a time etc... And just as I was feeling better and enjoying myself....

BAM!

I fell fast and really hard and with no time to even put my arms out. I fell full force on my left elbow, forearm and  hip and right knee. Spread eagled flat on the ground. Wump! Breathless. I felt/heard a crack and it was just like my broken ankle incident where you straight away think - oh shit, this is not good.

I have no idea what happened. But I think I totally missed a little step and stepped in front instead of, instead of on it, but I actually have no idea, it was just a brain misfire or something...

It was so sore I saw stars and just lay on the ground for several minutes. Scared to try to get up or assess the damage too closely. When I got up, I was in in such pain, and both relived that no one was around to see, but also felt terribly alone and vulnerable at the same time... and unexpectedly I burst into tears. LOL (I didn't even cry when I broke my ankle!).

I felt so helpless and broken. Defeated, and 'tired' I guess. But I had to suck it up and drag myself the rest of the way and back to meet the scouts in time. I had blood down my shorts and was covered in gravel and dust.

It was farking sore. And I looked and felt quite pathetic. Limping along and hugging my arm with bleeding elbow into the stomach.

I went home once I'd sorted all kids and lifts out, had a hot bath, cleaned myself up, took and anti-inflammatory and fixed my iPOD again (and cursed stupid iTunes - again).

I struggled to find a way to lie in bed which didn't hurt but this morning I am better and not worse... so off for that long Argus training cycle it is then! Despite the mad wind.

Wish me luck!

Thursday 26 January 2012

You are the space in my bed

I love love love Florence + The Machine at the moment, I am slightly besotted with her actually.... sigh.

Florence + The Machine - No Light No Light

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said

You are the night-time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over you're the start

You're my head
You're my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say
Through the crowd I was
Crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces

I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me
I need to make it right
You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You are the revelation

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light

Tell me what you want me to say
But would you leave me,
If I told you what I've done

And would you leave me
If I told you what I've become
'Cause it's so easy,
To sing it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you, all alone

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day,
You can choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light

Tell me what you want me to say

You want a revelation
You want to get right
But, it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution.
You are the revelation.

You want a revelation
You want to get right.
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight.
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Sixty Things

from random thoughts from underneath the table

1. How old are you in five years? The magic one... 42!
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Andrew :)
3. How tall are you? 166 centimetres.
4. What is the last movie you saw? Shucks... it's been a while... Buitiful, with Tim.
5. Who called you last? Mithra - from work. NO idea why, the boys screened the call.
6. Who did you call last? My ex MIL. IT's the anniversary of my ex FILs death today. It seemed like the right thing to do. I left a message.
7. What was the last text message you received? “See you sat” from Andrew.
8. Do you prefer calling or texting? I hate calling.
9. Are your parents married or divorced? Divorced. Now; one remarried, and the other died.
10. When did you last see your mother? One the day she does 3 July 2009. Before that on 27 July 2007.
11. What color eyes do you have? Mixed blue/grey/green.
12. When did you wake up today? 06h27
13. What is your favorite Christmas song? All I want for Christmas is You.
14. What is your favorite place? Lion's Head, Bed, Thailand
15. What place do you prefer the least? Shopping malls.
16. Where do you think you will find yourself in ten years? At home, content.
17. What scared you about the night as a child? The dark and the grabbing hands under my bed.
18. What made you really laugh last? Joking around with the boys.
19. How big is your bed? Plain old double. Too small!
20. Do you have desktop or laptop computer? Laptop all the way.
21. Do you sleep with or without clothes on you? Almost always without.
22. How many pillows do you have in bed? 3
23. How many provinces have you lived in? Two.
24. Which cities have you lived in? Cape Town, Johannesburg & Pretoria
25. Do you prefer shoes, socks or bare feet? Barefeet or running shoes!
26. Are you social? Sometimes. I am an introvert, but if I am feeling outgoing I am social.
27. What is your favorite ice cream? Hagen Dazs Belgian Chocolate
28. What is your favorite dessert? Dark Chocolate
29. Do you like Chinese food? Yes, and yes.
30. Do you like coffee? Too much.
31. What do you have for breakfast? Usually just coffee.
32. Do you sleep on a particular side? Right hand side or back.
33. Can you play poker? Sot of I need to learn the rules more.
34. Do you like to cuddle / snuggle? Yes but prefer to sleep without interruption.
35. Are you a dependent person? No I am almost too independent. I don't really rely on ANYONE.
36. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yes . My ex and his ex girl friend!
37. Do you have children? Yes. 2 beautiful boys.
38. Do you know any other languages than English? a little
39. Have you ever driven an ambulance? Driven in one sadly, but not driven one.
40. Do you prefer the ocean or a pool? I like both.
41. What do you spend any money on? Today, it was rent and school fees.
42. Do you have precious jewellery? No
43. What are your favorite shows on TV? Modern Family,Big Bang Theory
44. Can you roll your tongue? Yes
45. Who is the funniest person you know? Griffin and Quinn (and ME!)
46. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes my stuffed dog Benjamin.
47. What is your ringtone? The sound of a phone ringing.
48. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No
49. What are you closest to you right now that is red? My handbag.
50. Do you flirt much? Yes a little.
51. Can you change the oil on the car? Yes and have done before.
52. Have you received speeding ticket ever? Yes.
53. What was the last book you read? Eats, Shoots & Leaves.
54. Do you read a newspaper? When I can, but not consistently.
55. Subscribe to a magazine: Not at the moment.
56. Are you dancing in the car? Yes, often. Esp if the boys are with me.
57. Which radio station did you listen to you last? 5fm
58. What was the last thing you scribbled down on paper? Some meeting notes.
59. When were you at church last? I don't do church.But I went to one for my Gran's funeral in August.
60. Are you happy? Yes, I think I am.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Our Back 2 School 2012 photos

I took the boys for a sunset-full-moon hike up Lion's Head the night before first day of school last week, which was beautiful but crowded and slow so we got home late and still had to shower etc so we only went to bed at about 11pm! Hence the boys looking a bit tired and not quite as amped for school as usual. It was worth it though! :)

Boys Ready For School:
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Us Ready to Leave for School:
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Quinn's 2006-2012 First Day of School Comparisons:
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Griffin's 2009-2012 First Day of School Comparisons:
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Boys at school:
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And just cos I love this one of Griff:
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My boys' home Jack-Ass Movies *rude/naughty*

So Quinn got a cell phone for his birthday and started making rude/naughty videos with it while unsupervised when we were on holiday... I don't think he fully realises that I have a 'nanny-cam' of sorts now and can see the 'ish that he gets up to when I am not around... SO BUST DUDE!!!

Exhibit A - Giving Griffin an 'Epic Kick in the Ass'
http://youtu.be/6WnOjaJ9jd4

Exhibit B - Pushing Griffin into the Pool
http://youtu.be/-XqN8UpsU4E

Exhibit C - Kicking Griffin in the Face (!?!)
http://youtu.be/SR8qzCStPbM

Exhibit D - Playing with fire (and burning an abandoned kiddies' shoe) while supposedly making the braai while I had a quick swim.
http://youtu.be/F7c_kw838SM

Aaaaiiii!

Fark they are naughty.

Note these were semi-staged and they collaborated on what to do, so Griffin wasn't just being bullied without warning...
:shock: :roll: :oops:
I'll probably take them down soon since I am clearly a shocking parent based on these!!!!


Well when I saw them I couldn't decide if I was angry/amused/horrified. We have had a long talk about them! AND especially me being able to trust them to not do anything stupid or dangerous while I am not around - like burning the entire bone dry camp down!

Saturday 7 January 2012

We had the Best Holiday Ever!

We went to Namibia. Somewhere I had never been before and realised I actually knew very little about. Wow, what a wonderful, varied, interesting and amazing place it is though! It is Farking hot too!! Unsurprising I suppose since it is the desert AND the middle of summer!

The landscapes are simply incredible and ever changing. Every few kilometres everything looks completely different. There are savannas, moon landscapes, mountains, sand dunes, sedimentary rock, volcanic rocks and amazing vegetation too.
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We flew to Windhoek on Dec 27th and then hired a Nissan X-Trail and drove to Etosha and then Swakopmund and then Sossusvlei and all over in between for 10 days. 3 nights in Etosha, 3 in Swakopmund and 3 in Sossusvlei/Sesreim, and back to Windhoek via Mariental. We drove about 3500km in total - mostly on dirt-roads, since there are very few tar roads in Namibia.

It was FANTASTIC. We had so much fun. I half-expected a road-trip to be a nightmare with the boys but it seems 'intense car-therapy' forces you to learn to get along. Who knew!?

There are loads of pics! I have spared you and uploaded the little versions.

Funny Road-signs - for warthogs and elephants.
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Etosha; Namutomi, Okaukeujo & Dolomite Camps:
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Twyfelfontein which has 6000 year old San rock etchings.
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Climbing Dune 7 Swakopmund
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Quad-Biking at Dune 7 Swakopmund:
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Camel Ride in Swakopmund:
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It was Quinn's Birthday while we were there - he turned 12:
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Me up Dune 60 at 6am (we had to wake up at 4:30am to get there!)
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Quinn face-planted (accidentally/on- purpose) while running down Dune 60. This is the result.
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Deadvlei may be bone dry and 'dead' but it is breathtakingly beautiful
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After climbing Dune 60 we went to Sossusvlei and there was water (ok actually THICK MUD) in the vlei so we went in... the boys went RIGHT IN! And came out as San Bushmen.
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I had to devise makeshift clothing for the boys since all their clothing was soaked and caked in mud. They looked rather tribal. Griffin was most covered thanks to Quinn dunking him in the mud. Quinn through this was hilarious. Griffin decided he was a Damara and started speaking in clicks.
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Sunrise over the Namib Desert - a hot-air balloon flying in the distance
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The Namib Desert at Dawn
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A and I up Dune 45 in Sossusvlei (the Namib Desert) at sunrise
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Quinn found a Springbok leg in Sesriem Canyon, there was loads of nature study and incidental learning which happened on the trip - very cool. We found a horned puffadder, lots of feathers, dung, animal spoor, interesting and beautiful rocks and stones, desert sand, a desert melon, rock formations, insects, animals, clouds etc etc. We also listened to some interesting pod casts about everything from grammar, medical info, parenting and various TED talks, which the boys seem to have absorbed a lot of.
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Me hugging a Quiver Tree at Anib Kalahari Lodge (it was not actually very hug-able)
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The 4 of us at the 'Tropic of Capricorn' on the way back to Windhoek
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Quinn petting a baby (fairly tame - he lives with horses) Zebra at Anib Kalahari Lodge outside Mariental
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There was also a lot of sleeping in the back...
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We also ate and ate. Including loads of delicious game meat (mostly Oryx -Gemsbok). It really was an amazing holiday, filled with fun, and memories which we will never forget.

Quinn also made some hilarious (if not pretty inappropriate) videos on the cell phone he got for his birthday. I may upload one or 2...