It hurt - and then I cried....

I cried last night, for the first time in months...

I had a few small things go wrong in the early evening, but nothing too majorly catastrophic (was late, got stuck in traffic, ended up dropping the scouts off a bit late in Tokai, after scratching the back of my car with the bikes I was transporting, and then my iPOD was fucked up again. NO!? Why???) but the result was that my imagined relaxing run, while the scouts rode, started off a bit harried and thwarted. But off I went anyway and after crossing to lower Tokai plantation and running about 2km the feeling of 'oh how kak everything is' started to dissipate. I was giving myself a self-talk about how none of it was that bad and, even though I had a long cycle planned for the morning and a tight schedule, I'd have to just suck it up and sort out the iPOD and deal with one thing at a time etc... And just as I was feeling better and enjoying myself....

BAM!

I fell fast and really hard and with no time to even put my arms out. I fell full force on my left elbow, forearm and  hip and right knee. Spread eagled flat on the ground. Wump! Breathless. I felt/heard a crack and it was just like my broken ankle incident where you straight away think - oh shit, this is not good.

I have no idea what happened. But I think I totally missed a little step and stepped in front instead of, instead of on it, but I actually have no idea, it was just a brain misfire or something...

It was so sore I saw stars and just lay on the ground for several minutes. Scared to try to get up or assess the damage too closely. When I got up, I was in in such pain, and both relived that no one was around to see, but also felt terribly alone and vulnerable at the same time... and unexpectedly I burst into tears. LOL (I didn't even cry when I broke my ankle!).

I felt so helpless and broken. Defeated, and 'tired' I guess. But I had to suck it up and drag myself the rest of the way and back to meet the scouts in time. I had blood down my shorts and was covered in gravel and dust.

It was farking sore. And I looked and felt quite pathetic. Limping along and hugging my arm with bleeding elbow into the stomach.

I went home once I'd sorted all kids and lifts out, had a hot bath, cleaned myself up, took and anti-inflammatory and fixed my iPOD again (and cursed stupid iTunes - again).

I struggled to find a way to lie in bed which didn't hurt but this morning I am better and not worse... so off for that long Argus training cycle it is then! Despite the mad wind.

Wish me luck!