So I got a call from our ENT 'Ollie' the other night (yup we are on a first name basis he phones me at night and we sms over week-ends etc etc. He is awesome - seriously if anyone in CPT needs an ENT referral use him! He is THE BEST doctor I have ever encountered bar none. He is skilled, professional, friendly and very caring. I love him lots!) Anyhoo...
He wants to schedule Quinn next op for THESE holidays. He wants to go back into the RIGHT ear (his worse ear) and do some reconstruction work and implant some prosthetic oscicles (those tiny hearing bones) to try to recover some of Q's hearing on the RHS.
We are going to try to find a way to get it covered by medical-aid. So he is doing some research to see what codes to use and how to plan it. Should happen in the next 2 weeks though.
If all goes well with this one, and the c-tomas don't return (please hold thumbs that they never do!) then this should be the last op, unless he ever needs a BAHA (bone anchored hearing aid - basically and implanted hearing aid).
I will update when I know more, but Ollie says this should be a much smaller op than the previous 2 because he'll go up through the ear canal and through the ear drum, so it's less major surgery, quicker and the post-op healing is much simpler as well.
Monday 27 June 2011
Sometimes it hurts instead
3+ Years down the line... I am still single. Most of the people I have dated have settled down and found their 'one', their happiness and their place in the world. I'm still muddling through from one day to the next. Trying to be ok, to do ok. I am ok. For the most part. But as time goes by I trust a little less, hope a little less and believe a little less.There are one or 2 people I miss intensely. I so much want to tell them this, but I can't and won't.
Never mind...
ADELE - "
Someone Like You"
I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now
I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you
Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead
Monday 13 June 2011
Granny Update
I've been to visit with my gran a few more times now... so here's an update.
While Granny Better remains old and frail (she is very very thin and has no appetite at all) and does tire easily, she is still sharp as a pin, and has an incredible memory and naughty sparkling wit.
When we all arrived yesterday afternoon (about 8 of us in all!) she was sleeping. When she woke up she was a bit disoriented (UNDERSTANDABLY!) asked if we'd been called to her bedside cos they thought it was the end for her. We assured her that was not the case and we were there simple to visit with her lovely self.
Later on when we told her Cathy was flying back to Pretoria shortly she said, 'Sorry I dragged you all down here and now I didn't die after all!'. It was shockingly funny. She is such a character! I told her that I think I speak for everyone when I say we just wanted to wish her well and BE with her and we were all glad to have that chance to do that now, and were indeed glad to not be leaving it too late.
The hospital has started getting her up and out of bed a little today and it seems she was up in a chair to be fed lunch today. Being up was exhausting for her though and I think she is surprised at how little strength and energy she has. Most likely from her lungs, from being laid up in bed for 10 days and also not eating much at all.
She seems to be doing reasonably well now, and seems stable and I think she will probably go to the place she lives at's Frail Care section in the coming week some time. She seems accepting that she will need assisted living now and is not fighting it.
The boys and I took her fluffy pink grown and some nice non-slip slipper socks on Saturday which she seems to like. My uncle drying said, 'She needed those a WEEK ago, that ship has sailed now.'... LOL. Still she seemed pleased with them and was wearing them yesterday when we visited. :)
Cathy got her some Ensure, nutrient rich shake which will help her to get the nutrients she needs without having to struggle to eat solid food.
All in all she is in a much better way than a week ago, which is lovely to see.
While Granny Better remains old and frail (she is very very thin and has no appetite at all) and does tire easily, she is still sharp as a pin, and has an incredible memory and naughty sparkling wit.
When we all arrived yesterday afternoon (about 8 of us in all!) she was sleeping. When she woke up she was a bit disoriented (UNDERSTANDABLY!) asked if we'd been called to her bedside cos they thought it was the end for her. We assured her that was not the case and we were there simple to visit with her lovely self.
Later on when we told her Cathy was flying back to Pretoria shortly she said, 'Sorry I dragged you all down here and now I didn't die after all!'. It was shockingly funny. She is such a character! I told her that I think I speak for everyone when I say we just wanted to wish her well and BE with her and we were all glad to have that chance to do that now, and were indeed glad to not be leaving it too late.
The hospital has started getting her up and out of bed a little today and it seems she was up in a chair to be fed lunch today. Being up was exhausting for her though and I think she is surprised at how little strength and energy she has. Most likely from her lungs, from being laid up in bed for 10 days and also not eating much at all.
She seems to be doing reasonably well now, and seems stable and I think she will probably go to the place she lives at's Frail Care section in the coming week some time. She seems accepting that she will need assisted living now and is not fighting it.
The boys and I took her fluffy pink grown and some nice non-slip slipper socks on Saturday which she seems to like. My uncle drying said, 'She needed those a WEEK ago, that ship has sailed now.'... LOL. Still she seemed pleased with them and was wearing them yesterday when we visited. :)
Cathy got her some Ensure, nutrient rich shake which will help her to get the nutrients she needs without having to struggle to eat solid food.
All in all she is in a much better way than a week ago, which is lovely to see.
Wednesday 8 June 2011
My Granny Betty is not well
My beloved and beautiful Granny Betty who has been an indomitable and incredibly strong yet gentle woman her whole life is final starting to show signs of her age. She fell in the dark 10 days ago and cut the top of her head open. Then on Friday she was sent to frail care with breathing difficulties.
I visited her on Friday, Sunday, last night and am going again today...
She'll be 92 in September.
(From Friday)
She is clearly aging and becoming more and more frail now. BUT she is still completely 'there' as always. She is still bright, cheerful, self-deprecating, thoughtful, kind, informed, gracious, humble and grateful etc. She does struggle to speak - which seems to be both due to an infection the fluid in her lungs and her heart arrhythmia. So she speaks softly and then loses her breath half-way through a sentence and has to gasp a bit to catch her breath. Kind of like trying to talk after running fast. Which is obviously tiring for her. So I tried to do most of the talking and didn't ask too many questions.
She insists that she has no pain from the fall, and the bruising on her face is secondary internal bleeds due to her blood thinning medication and not cos she hit her face directly. So in her usual way she is 'FINE'.
She had thought she'd be in frail-care for a few days, but apparently the Dr has told her to expect to be there for 3-4 weeks. I am not certain what this really means. I think it's either a:
1. Serious lung issue which can heal, but takes long, or less nice option
2. Terminal situation which will slowly deteriorate...
After that she was taken to hospital as she got worse on Saturday. I found her at Constantiaberg...
(From Sunday).
We were very pleased to see that she is actually doing a lot better now than Friday. She is on a drip (probably anti-biotics and/or cortisone?) and has a nasal oxygen feed and is definitely breathing easier so she can now talk better and has perked up a lot. She is visibly more 'pink' too.
We had a good chat, and she seemed in good spirits and is still completely aware of everything around her. She thanks everyone for their concern and thoughts. The boys gave her a big hug too. It was a good visit. There was no doctor around so I am not sure what her diagnosis and/or prognosis is. But she is ok for now and insists she is in no pain and is feeling ok
(Then yesterday)
I think she is definitely getting weaker. Sadly. She now has an oxygen mask (instead of the nasal tube) as I think she needs a bigger more constant oxygen supply. Her eyes are a it bloodshot now too, and apparently they are having to feed her at meal times. She can no longer stand unassisted and is now catheterised. Apparently she is receiving a larger dose of 'wharferan'?. She talks of 'being like a child again'. I think she is finding it a little embarrassing, but is handling it all in her usual very dignified way.
She is still speaking more easily than she was on Friday. So I think overall she is more well (ie I think her chest has cleared a bit), but she is also more tired and weaker if that makes sense...? I am no expert at all, but at this stage I gather they are keeping her comfortable but are not holding out that much hope, which seems supported by the fact that when I phoned to ask about visiting hours and how strict they are and they said they are usually quite strict but that they are happy that I go see her immediately, which was an hour before visiting times.
While we were there the stitches were taken out of her head as that wound has healed quite well. I held her hand as they struggled a bit to get the stitches out since they were quite tangled in her hair.
Again she chatted to us quite nicely,and told me her bank cards etc had been found. She also told me that her living will had not been located, or formally signed though, but mentioned that she'd spoken to the doctor and they they have made a note on her file not to resuscitate her, should it come to that. (I wonder if she senses that the end is near?)
I'll be talking the boys through again tomorrow evening, and they have both started making some beautiful cards for her - out of their own suggestion. I asked if she likes foot rubs and I think I'll take some lotion along tomorrow so I can rub her feet for a while, if she'd like me to.
-----
She is old and I think it is probably 'her time', so I feel fairly accepting of it all, but I do feel sadness and melancholy about it too. She is blessed and wonderful person. I hope she doesn't suffer.
I regret that I never went to see my granddad on my last visit to Cape Town before he died in 1996, and then was not there for my mother when she died (as we were estranged and I didn't realise she was that sick)... so I think since my gran is an amazing person and I am the only one around. I haven't been the most attentive granddaughter to her in recent years, so I feel both obliged and also quite driven to do whatever I can in this situation. She deserves it and I really want to.
My sister and her family are coming down at the week-end and I suspect my dad and possibly other sister will make plans to come through soon. I'll update them all after today's visit again.
She'll be 92 in September.
(From Friday)
She is clearly aging and becoming more and more frail now. BUT she is still completely 'there' as always. She is still bright, cheerful, self-deprecating, thoughtful, kind, informed, gracious, humble and grateful etc. She does struggle to speak - which seems to be both due to an infection the fluid in her lungs and her heart arrhythmia. So she speaks softly and then loses her breath half-way through a sentence and has to gasp a bit to catch her breath. Kind of like trying to talk after running fast. Which is obviously tiring for her. So I tried to do most of the talking and didn't ask too many questions.
She insists that she has no pain from the fall, and the bruising on her face is secondary internal bleeds due to her blood thinning medication and not cos she hit her face directly. So in her usual way she is 'FINE'.
She had thought she'd be in frail-care for a few days, but apparently the Dr has told her to expect to be there for 3-4 weeks. I am not certain what this really means. I think it's either a:
1. Serious lung issue which can heal, but takes long, or less nice option
2. Terminal situation which will slowly deteriorate...
After that she was taken to hospital as she got worse on Saturday. I found her at Constantiaberg...
(From Sunday).
We were very pleased to see that she is actually doing a lot better now than Friday. She is on a drip (probably anti-biotics and/or cortisone?) and has a nasal oxygen feed and is definitely breathing easier so she can now talk better and has perked up a lot. She is visibly more 'pink' too.
We had a good chat, and she seemed in good spirits and is still completely aware of everything around her. She thanks everyone for their concern and thoughts. The boys gave her a big hug too. It was a good visit. There was no doctor around so I am not sure what her diagnosis and/or prognosis is. But she is ok for now and insists she is in no pain and is feeling ok
(Then yesterday)
I think she is definitely getting weaker. Sadly. She now has an oxygen mask (instead of the nasal tube) as I think she needs a bigger more constant oxygen supply. Her eyes are a it bloodshot now too, and apparently they are having to feed her at meal times. She can no longer stand unassisted and is now catheterised. Apparently she is receiving a larger dose of 'wharferan'?. She talks of 'being like a child again'. I think she is finding it a little embarrassing, but is handling it all in her usual very dignified way.
She is still speaking more easily than she was on Friday. So I think overall she is more well (ie I think her chest has cleared a bit), but she is also more tired and weaker if that makes sense...? I am no expert at all, but at this stage I gather they are keeping her comfortable but are not holding out that much hope, which seems supported by the fact that when I phoned to ask about visiting hours and how strict they are and they said they are usually quite strict but that they are happy that I go see her immediately, which was an hour before visiting times.
While we were there the stitches were taken out of her head as that wound has healed quite well. I held her hand as they struggled a bit to get the stitches out since they were quite tangled in her hair.
Again she chatted to us quite nicely,and told me her bank cards etc had been found. She also told me that her living will had not been located, or formally signed though, but mentioned that she'd spoken to the doctor and they they have made a note on her file not to resuscitate her, should it come to that. (I wonder if she senses that the end is near?)
I'll be talking the boys through again tomorrow evening, and they have both started making some beautiful cards for her - out of their own suggestion. I asked if she likes foot rubs and I think I'll take some lotion along tomorrow so I can rub her feet for a while, if she'd like me to.
-----
She is old and I think it is probably 'her time', so I feel fairly accepting of it all, but I do feel sadness and melancholy about it too. She is blessed and wonderful person. I hope she doesn't suffer.
I regret that I never went to see my granddad on my last visit to Cape Town before he died in 1996, and then was not there for my mother when she died (as we were estranged and I didn't realise she was that sick)... so I think since my gran is an amazing person and I am the only one around. I haven't been the most attentive granddaughter to her in recent years, so I feel both obliged and also quite driven to do whatever I can in this situation. She deserves it and I really want to.
My sister and her family are coming down at the week-end and I suspect my dad and possibly other sister will make plans to come through soon. I'll update them all after today's visit again.
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