Amazing Thailand : Part 4 - 'One night in Bangkok'

The song goes: " One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster, The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free. You'll find a god in every golden cloister, And if you're lucky then the god's a she I can feel an angel sliding up to me "
---
After our first Skytrain transit we easily found Patpong Street, the center of Bangkok's 'Naughty Nightlife' District. There's a night market trading all along the street, where all the regular vendor wares can be bought. Here vendors also hold discreet folders displaying their sex DVD titles, which they flick open as you walk past. One tried to entice us by saying ' I have sex DVD filmed in SOUTH AFRICA!'. That makes it special in some way....?

The go-go bar touts are everywhere, and you can't walk more than a few steps without being approached by a few holding up small laminated menu cards, advertising the shows on offer. 'Ping pong sex show, Banana Sex show, Open Coke Bottle Sex Show' etc. It's quite amusing actually. After hearing and reading so much about these, we knew we had to see it first hand, so we selected the Queen's Palace II, after negotiating the terms with the relevant tout. There's no entrance fee, but you have to buy at least one drink each, and surprisingly the drinks there are charged at the regular price of Bt50 for a Singha Beer (R8.40). Some places are known to charge magnitudes more. Maybe that's why this place has a better reputation than many others.

So in we went, wide-eyed in anticipation. The place was fairly cozy, with a boxing ring type design, with patrons seated around the walls, facing into a central raised oblong stage with a pole on each corner. The place was full of naked and near naked women. All wearing high-heeled thigh-high black boots. Some wearing a bikini or part of one, a few not wearing anything. They were all local Thai girls ranging from young and beautiful with gorgeous bodies, to some fairly old and dumpy. We were also convinced that some of them were katoeys. I think being a couple allowed us to sit and observe on the sideline without drawing much attention. The single men seemed to be targeted a fair amount. The girls would sidle up to them and ask to be bought a drink etc, and you sometimes see a man sitting with one or more girls, getting lots of adulation.

***Warning - don't read the next few paragraphs if you are sensitive, or offended by sexuality***
One the stage there would always be 6-8 girls dancing and preening to the music supplied by the house DJ. These girls seemed mostly quite shy, and rather than putting on bold aggressive acts, seemed to be giggly and a bit shy and mostly interacted with each other - sometimes dancing together too. The nudity quickly became blasé and seemed very natural. It was also nice that these were natural real girls and not all perfect pin up models. Although some WERE gorgeous. Every 15 minutes or so, the DJ would ring a bell, and the naked girl who would have appeared on stage just before would begin her act. Each girl had her specialty. The first girl danced a little, and then produced a piece of ribbon, which she proceeded to pull out of herself over the next few minutes. Eventually she had about 10 meters of neon coloured ribbon trailing out of her! I found this bizarre, rather than erotic. It's also interesting to note that the girls seems to find it a bit absurd as well, although they seem to find it all in good fun too. Once the entire ribbon was revealed, the girl disappeared off stage and into the back. The dancers would then also leave the stage and mingle with the crowd, making way for the next 6-8 to take the lime light for a while. After another 15 minutes the DJ would again alert everybody for the next act.

Following acts included:
- Shooting ping-pong balls across the room - to be caught by another girl with a net
- Opening a bottle of shaken soda water with a bottle opener.
- Shooting banana past the audience and into the wall
- Blowing a horn
- Drawing a picture, by 'gripping' a felt tipped pen
- Those were the ordinary ones, then there was:
- Popping balloons with blow darts!
- Pouring half a bottle of water in, and then producing 'coke' to fill a empty bottle with (that' must be achieved using colour crystals or something!)
- Inserting a tomato and producing tomato pulp out of it!

It's amazing, and just a little frightening to see what they can do! After a while it becomes fairly routine, as there are only so many variations on a theme.

So several beers later, and feeling like I need to practise my kegels a lot more... ;) We left to see what else we could find.
We soon came across a banana fritter vendor, and since that was on MY list to sample, I handed over my Bt10 (R1.70) for a packet of deliciously oily banana fritters. Yummy. The banana actually had very little taste (I think cooking plantains are used) but the batter is lovely, and strangely the overall taste was more like apple crumble than anything else.

While I munched away, we ambled down another bustling neon lit alley, and came upon more touts, but the flavour here seemed different. More professional, more organised, more classy or something. It turned out that we were in gay show territory. None-the-less the touts were keen to get us to enter the shows. On enquiry we found that at these place the condition is also to purchase at least one drink each, but here a beer cost Bt250. We decided not to bother as it was late. Being close to 12am though and closet o closing time, they were in the mood for bargaining though, so the last club offered us entry, with 1 drink to share at Bt150, so we agreed in the spirit of adventure and new horizons.

I must say this show was very slick and professional and the boys were stunningly gorgeous!
The stage was also slightly raised, but here the audience all sit in rows in front of the stage. When we arrived a fire juggling display was just finishing. The next event was 3 guys, wearing nothing buy white hot pants and slathered in shaving cream, undulating and slithering very seductively. After a while they turned on an overhead shower and continued under the cascading water. At one point they all got shaving cream in their eyes - which I found quite amusing, as they suddenly rushed under the shower and tried to rinse it off quickly, forgetting to be alluring for a short while. This was followed by a swimming display. A curtain open to reveal a fish tank-like swimming pool. Where several men took turns to swim. I likened it to a lobster tank at a restaurant, where you can view and select the lobster of your choice.
Interestingly once each act was finished the guys would wash-up and appear in fresh white and tight hot pants and vest, with a numbered badge pinned to their chest. They would then sit on a bench next to the stage. I'm sure that's to make the selection and order process easier later ;)

The final act was a drag show - similar to the Pricilla Queen of the Desert, cabaret style. A man appeared wearing full traditional Thai female garb and with a fully painted face, except the make up was all skew and distorted. 'She' had 2 semi-naked male aides, waving palm fronds. All very regal. A traditional Thai song started, with the theme of 'welcome to Thailand, the land of smiles'. Then what started as the usual drag show with lip synched song became a satire act. The song started warping, going faster and slower, and scratching and stretching, and would then return to normal. They were illustrating the contrast and conflict between the beauty and innocence and splendour of Thailand and it's culture, and the deviant darker underbelly of the sex tourism industry and katoeys and such like. It was brilliantly put together, and was both very amusing to watch and very thought provoking as well.

We got back to Suk11 at around 2am. Passing 'Charlie's Bar' just outside, with a sign displayed which caught our eye. ' Now available - ladies toilet. For piss only, no shit please' !!! *hehehe*

*** Ok that's the nightlife over, should be safe again from here***

For some reason you don't get tired there, or very hungry. Perhaps both are attributable to the heat. We quickly adopted the local style of waking at around 9am, and going to bed at 2am.

The next day was Bangkok sightseeing day.
We headed to the river, via sky train. After getting off at the correct station we wondered up a road and then caught a bus to find China Town. We found a lovely colourful Chinese temple. Everything there is very bright. I was wondering how it stays that way, as everything in SA fades in the sun. Either the sun is not as harsh there, or they have better paint, or they touch up often...

We went past funny quaint shops. A chemist, followed by a greasy engine repair shop, followed by a Chinese food shop, with whole roast ducks - head and all, hanging up. This section did stink as the drains were being cleared and there were piles of back sludge lying down the length of the road. Still people sat and ate right next to them!
We kept walking till we decided we'd seen enough of china town and odd types of food, and ventured on to find the river. We had got slightly disoriented, so asked a local where the river was. Non compredo. After several tries the penny dropped, and he exclaimed ' oh, the LIVER'. After which we were given the correct directions.
The R thing is a real problem there. They actually don't understand if you as for rice either, you need to say LICE.
We even saw a printed sign advertising 'Liver Rafting'.

Once we found the river we boarded a river taxi and headed up to Wat Arun.
Wat Arun is a big temple on the riverbanks of the Chao Praya River. The scale and detail is absolutely amazing. The original temple was built in the old cemented style, and King Rama III had the temple decorated with porcelain. There are whole plates and shaped ceramic pieces following detailed patterns repeating probably thousands of times over the thing. It's incredible to see.

After Wat Arun we crossed the River and walked on to Wat Pho, ignoring the Tuk-tuk drivers who tired their best to tell us it was closed, and we should rather go to the special 'Lucky Buddha’, which is open 'today only'. Wat Pho was of course open, and FYI there is no temple of the Lucky Buddha. Incidentally if you are caught by these people it seems that all that happens is you waste a lot of time being taken to shops, tailors and jewellers where you are enticed into buying things you didn't want for more than you wanted to pay. They work in groups so you can get one guys story substantiated by the next until you believe them, but they are just con artists.

“Wat Pho covers 20 acres, and includes the famous Reclining Buddha. "The highly impressive gold plated reclining Buddha is 46 meters long and 15 meters high, and is designed to illustrate the passing of the Buddha into nirvana. The feet and the eyes are engraved with mother-of-pearl decoration, and the feet also show the 108 auspicious characteristics of the true Buddha. "

We spent a lot of time wondering in this extensive temple compound, and apart from the reclining Buddha which I found very awe inspiring, I loved all the cement figurines scattered around the gardens, and took lots of photos of these.

By the time we had finished there, we realised it was already nearly 5pm, and we had missed the Grand Palace! We were quite 'templed out' by then though, and it's only now that I feel quite a bit of disappointment about it. I shall have to go back :)

Instead we walked to a nearby large field near the Victory monument and watched a kite festival. Many Thai families had come out to buy and fly kites in the sunset. Very pretty. We bought a small kite for each of the boys there.

Then after hearing so much about Kao San Road, and realising we were pretty close we made our way there.
For a road that is SO notorious, it is really hard to find, and not very impressive.
I think everyone who goes to Bangkok has heard of it, it's the first street mentioned when asking about accommodation in Bangkok. It's considered a back-packer's Mecca.
It's also offered referred to as the 'gateway to SE Asia', and every single taxi driver in Bangkok reportedly knows where it is. Incidentally it is also where Leonardo De Caprio's character was staying in 'The Beach' while he was in Bangkok. A lot of people are very disparaging about it now, claiming that it's a hippie hangout and where drop-outs loiter, not daring to try anything else, and then claiming to have 'done Bangkok'. It's also apparently a place where hair braiding, cheap trinkets, tattooing, fake IDS and degrees and general knock-off good are a dime a dozen. So good or bad I wanted to SEE it.

As mentioned it's damn hard to find. In fact we only found it by spotting and following several sets of 'Farangs' (What Thai's call westerners -we speculate it's from the word foreign) walking to and from that area. Amazingly the street is only some 200 m long. But that 200m is filled with pure energy. It bustles with VIBE.
It's like a carnival. People are eating, drinking, getting their hair braided, dread locked, hair extensions, henna tattoos, buying cheap clothes, cds, DVS, you name it, and DRINKING. There was a greater concentration of 'farangs' here than anywhere else, and I actually didn't like it that much. Yes it's fun, but I agree with the critics who say it's not really Thailand. But hey it is what it is, and we took it as such.

I found and bought a lovely blue skirt and top set, both for Bt300 (R50). I had previously seen the same stuff at a flea market in SA for R90 for each. We sat and drank beer at a pavement cafe and watched the activity on the street. On leaving, we again wanted to try a tuk-tuk, but here too they were disproportionately expensive, and one claimed the cost was 50USD! Chancers. Fortuitously we bumped into a seasoned kiwi tourist who knew how to 'tune' them, so we soon found ourselves sharing an air-conditioned taxi for a fraction of the original price, ending another adventure filled day.

Next: Chatuchuk week-end market and Ayutthaya

Amazing Thailand: Part 3 – The Mega-city of Bangkok

After 2 nights in Phuket we packed a small bag and headed back to Phuket airport to see Bangkok!
Our original idea had been to catch a bus to Bangkok, but after finding out that while cheap, this takes some 15 hours each way, we quickly abandoned that idea. Instead, I searched the Internet and found a new no-frills airline called Air Asia, and managed to get 2 return flights for less than the price of one on any of the other airlines I had checked out. Bargain!

It was exciting looking out of the plane window and seeing the interior of Thailand, a country which I was already feeling very fond of. We saw farm lands and rice paddies stretching way into the horizon, all very green and with no shortage of water around. On approaching Bangkok the view changed to urban sprawl, with roads and buildings emanating everywhere. The city is huge, and has an estimated population of around 8 Million at the moment. The Chao Praya River is wide and lazily winds it's way through the centre of the city and onwards to the nearby sea in the Gulf of Thailand. For some reason I was very excited to be in Bangkok - I think the city radiates energy. People in Phuket had incredulously asked us why we were bothering to go to Bangkok. I think it's similar to the Cape Town - Johannesburg debate. Some people just love a vibrant busy city. I was certainly keen to at least see it, even if we ended up not liking it much...

I had researched a lot on the internet before our trip, and had learned a few Thai phrases, and even put together a booklet of common phrases, listing words in English, phonetic Thai, and actual Thai font. So I could attempt to say a few words, and if necessary point them out to locals to get understood. The Thai language is difficult for English speaking people to master, as it is very tonal. The same word can be said 5 different ways, and have 5 distinct different meanings! So you really have to be careful. The tones are: low, middle high, rising and falling. Luckily the Internet has some good interactive sites where you can play recordings of some common words to get an idea of how it all works. The written language is just so very different to our own that without committing to learning it, I think it's impossible for us to even vaguely understand. It's largely based on squarish symbols, with various embellishments around them.

I had been expecting a language barrier from the start, but up to that point in the trip and managed to get by easily, with most people in Phuket speaking reasonable English. However this wasn't the case in Bangkok, where it is not uncommon at all for people to have little to no understanding of English at all. Luckily in my trip preparation I had a print out in Thai and English of exactly how to find our hostel accommodation, and detailed instructions for either taxi or bus routes. We opted for the bus, and soon enough Airport bus 2 arrived and we climbed aboard. We sat and watched in fascination was we headed through the city. We passed building after building, and were struck by the dichotomy between large buildings and skyscrapers and the multitude of interspersed shanty dwellings. It makes the place very colourful and real. The shanties are generally quite higgledy-piggledy, but have such character and charm.

The building architecture in SE Asia is spectacular, as a lot of attention to detail seems to be given to shape and form. Buildings are never just plain monoliths, and while they are often large spectacular, they all seem to have an overriding sense of style and elegance. Everything is finished off with nice lines, which are pleasing to the eye. A range of very varying styles are used, so it's difficult to convey, sometimes a stylised Chinese roof line will be used, sometimes a simple taper, the overall result is beautiful harmony.

Our bus deposited us on Sukumvit Road, under the Sky Train's 'Nana' Station.
We were slightly overwhelmed by the magnitude of Bangkok, but with notes in hand we walked the 2 blocks or so and found our oasis, behind a 7Eleven off Soi 11, a little place called Suk 11. Suk 11 is possibly the most charming and character place I have ever stayed in. It is styled on the old shanty buildings, which we had found so endearing on our ride through the city, and is quite vast and ambling. It's big and has grown organically to overtake most of the small crescent road it nestles in. It occupies the 3 top floors of the building lining the crescent, and the walls, which used to separated the separate apartments have been roughly knocked through to create a quaint passageway along the entire building. This style is often emulated in modern designer studio buildings, but this is the original concept! There are little hidden wonders all over and the place is decorated again organically. On venturing upstairs we found an exquisite roof garden, which looked like a 'Garden & Home', or Top Billing shoot location.

The amazing thing is that a double en-suite room, with breakfast only cost Bt600 (for both of us). That's R100!
The entire place operates on a trust basis. You get 2 bottles of drinking water per day, included in the price, plus you get coffee etc with breakfast. There is a fridge with water, soft drinks, beers etc, as well as post card racks, sarongs, shirts etc for sale. If you want any of these things you simply take them, and put money in a moneybox. It would be nice if we could instil that same sense here in SA.

It's amazing that the money and all the goods are just left there, and yet everyone seems to abide by the system and respects it. We found lots of situations like that, where a street vendor will go off for lunch and leave his stall unattended, or at night just cover it with a cloth, and I think it's attributable to the Buddhist culture, and karma. There doesn't seem to be any theft. Well actually apparently there is some in the tourist markets and there are pickpockets operating there. But in our experience Thailand is very big on scams and cons, and price inflating, but not on theft. So a street vendor will attempt to get you to pay an inflated price, but at the end of the day you hand your own money over willingly, they would not steal it from you, and I think there's a marked difference, and the result is that you feel much much safer there, and not physically threatened.

Many people there are after a quick buck, but they'll get it by gaining commission from somebody by convincing you to use a service, or by getting you to sponsor the 'restoration of a temple'. Or negotiating a service with you, and then selling you to someone else at a cheaper cost - this seems to happen a lot with the taxis. I think they have worked out that if they can speak a bit of English, they can get by quite easily just be being shrewd and a bit deceptive. The rule of thumb is don't trust anyone who is overtly friendly with no due cause, or without being asked is suddenly wanting to be really helpful, or tries to tell you the temple you want to see is closed, and they know a better one which is open today only!

Shortly after arriving we decided to sample some street vendor fare. We were off the main roads, and chose the closest one that smelled nice (which was how we ended up selecting nearly all our food). However there was no menu or price in English. We attempted to speak to the lady manning the cart. She clearly had no clue what we were saying. Out came my little book - which still wasn't helping. At this point Richard still wanted to CHOOSE what he wanted to eat. We had to change tactics, as now suddenly here we were in Bangkok, and feeling slightly out of our depth. We crossed the street, where a young smartly dressed girl was ordering food. On enquiry we found that she speaks a few English words, so we asked her to order the same as what she was having for us. This was done. We got our plate of Thai noodles (pad Thai) and pork and perched at the table - which they place literally right on the side of the road. We avoided the water, which the local were scooping out of a bucket and drinking, didn't look very clean at all! The food was delicious, but the car fumes not so much!

I must say I was under the impression that Bangkok would be:
1) Huge beyond belief - it is, but it's easy to get around, so that's not a big problem.
2) Stinky - some people claim there's a stench all over Bangkok, yes there's some drain smell in places, and yes there are lots of intermingled food and garbage smells, but mostly nothing you haven't smelled before though.
3) That the food would make us sick - we were not sick even once, and we ate or drank pretty much anything.
4) The Asian Toilets with hand showers would be a problem, and that there's no toilet paper. I only had to use Asian toilets 2-3 times (thank-you yoga for giving me strong thighs!). But I've had to use them 2-3 times in SA too. Plus there was toilet paper everywhere, and where there wasn't you could buy it outside.
5) Hotter than we could bear. Yes it's HOT. It was 35-43 degrees everyday. But hey we have had temps in the 40s here, and there's far more air-conditioning there. 7Eeleven was one of my favourite shops!
6) That the Traffic jams are endless and continual - I didn't see very much traffic at all. But maybe that's because we were there over the weekend.
7) That we'd see elephants walking in the streets - didn't see one in Bangkok, only Phuket
8) That the pavements are notoriously uneven and walking on them is a nightmare - didn't seem any worse than the pavements back home.
9) That you can't touch tap water anywhere, ever - you can get cheap bottled water for less than R1 and were eventually brushing our teeth using tap water anyway
10) Dirty and polluted - yes in places, but no more so than any other city, and in fact cleaner than some I have seen
11) That no one speaks English - partially true, but if in doubt go into a shop and someone will understand you, and they have 'tourist police' now as well who can help.

So while it does have some aspects of all of those, nothing was that bad, and we found we managed just fine. Perhaps is just the Americans who are xenophobic and can't handle anything slightly different and/or that we have such a diverse and extreme upbringing here in Sa that we can easily adapt to anything, and nothing is THAT different to what we have seen before? I don't know, but while we found it all exciting and stimulating, it was by no means overwhelming or too intimidating.

So we were in Bangkok on Friday night, and the first thing on our list (well the first thing on Richard's list) was to see a Girly-show, aka Sex show, and the place to do that is Patpong Street. So we headed for the Sky train station, quickly figured out where to go and headed off. The Sky train is great. Fast, clean and quite cheap. I am sure Bangkok was far more daunting to traverse before this was built.

Amazing Thailand: Part 2 - Phuket the Pearl of the South

Phuket is technically an island of the South West of Thailand. It's joined to the mainland by a bridge though, and it's pretty big, so it doesn't really feel like an island.

We were met at the airport by a mini-bus and a tour guide to transfer us to the hotel, so no taxi haggling was needed. We were staying at the 4-star Andaman Seaview Hotel at Karon Beach. Phuket turned out to be bigger than I expected and the journey from the airport is over an hour long. It was dark already when we arrived so we didn't see very much scenery.

On arrival at the hotel we were given a warmed hand towel to freshen up with and a glass of cool and sweet green tea, which I thought was very refreshing. We were made to feel like welcomed royalty. We were then escorted to our room, which was on the top floor in a prime position overlooking the pool area and out to the sea.

What lovely is that staff in Thailand are very friendly and helpful, but do not (generally) expect to be tipped. They treat you well as part of their jobs, rather than to get money out of you, and it certainly makes a big difference, and everyone behaves very professionally and courteously.

The room was complete with fluffy bathrobes, and slippers, a full mini-bar (but very expensive), satellite TV, hairdryer, safe, and a bathroom with shutters opening onto the bedroom etc. All very lovely.

We went walking around our new beach town and found 2 elephants on display almost immediately. Not sure what they were doing there, as we didn't see them again, but there are elephants all over Thailand, and there is an Elephant trekking spot just a few Km away from there. I think they were being shown off at the Dino Bar that night. They walked off down the road with their owner/trainer a few minutes later.

Everything about Karon is beautiful and lively, but at the same time tranquil. The hotels are lovely and very tastefully and stylishly designed, and remain understated rather than gaudy. The little Buddhist temples all over (almost like bird feeders) are also beautiful, and are decorated with fresh fragrant flower garlands daily and small food offerings, which the birds seems to think are for them, so they actually do become bird feeders.

The local town folk stay up well into the night and parents and children alike man the shops and stalls till at least 12am (later during peak season). If the children are tired they simply curl up and go to sleep where they are, but the family seems to stay together all the time and the children are very well behaved and quietly play and converse rather that demanding attention as ours seem to do constantly.

The shops run as follows: massage parlour, laundry, travel agent, tailor, curio shop, clothing shop, convenience store, pub, motor bike hire, internet cafe, back to, massage parlour etc etc on and on. Some shops are combinations of a few services. There are dozens and dozens of each and then clusters of restaurants and hotels. There are also a several tattoo parlours, who provide real and henna tattoos and piecing etc. And some artists who make amazing and life like pictures from photos and near perfect reproductions of classics.

It's hard to decide which shop chose because there are so many people offering the same services, all with a friendly, encouraging person manning the shop door/stall hoping you'll purchase something from them. We quickly learned the smile, hand up, 'No thank-you' and walk on routine. If insistent resorting to 'Mai ow ka'. Meaning 'I don't want any.' in Thai. See I did my homework before hand!

That first night Richard settled on a little cluster of beer garden style pubs to relax in with a beer, while I decided a foot massage was more to my liking. So off I set for an hour of pure bliss. Sitting in a reclining lazy-boy being skilfully de-stressed and pampered for a full hour at 11:30pm for only R34! Heaven.

We woke the next morning and went down to our first 'American breakfast'. I was still unsure what that implied and was very pleasantly surprised to find that far from the coffee and toast I half expected it meant anything anyone on the face of the planet might ever consider eating at breakfast time. It was a huge buffet of exotic fruits and fruit salad, cereals, yoghurts, 6 juices, cold meats, cheeses, egg 'any way you want', bacon, sausage, grilled tomatoes, breads, muffins, Danishes, croissants, tea, coffee. That's just the normal stuff then there's: Boiled rice, stir fried noodles, Thai style steak/or chicken, black pickled eggs, fried rice, etc. The minute bananas were my favourite, little cocktail sized bananas the size of chipolata sausages.

We discovered that we were staying on a perfect pristine beach, where the sand is so soft and clean it actually squeaks under your feet. It sounds weird, and apparently has something to do with the silicone content. The sea temperature, in the 30s for sure! I wish Cape Town sea felt like that!

We were met at our hotel by our air-port transfer agent, as she was giving us a free tour of the island. I think she does it as a free service, but then gets commission if you spend money anywhere she has taken you. We were wise to all the tricks though, and she was very nice and seemed quite genuine so we didn't have any bad experiences.

We first went to the Elephant trekking site. Being fairly used to African elephants the Asian ones are not that new or different, so we decided not to spend to much time there, so didn't ride on them. Instead I bought a basket of bananas and fed them –which was quite fun.

We then went to Wat Chalong (a big Buddhist temple compound). This was or first temple and I was enthralled. It's quite new, but very ornate and the attention to detail is often breathtaking. we also saw our first Buddhist monks there, which thrilled me as I find them very inspirational. They are so calm and collected and 'enlightened' for want of a better word. I was careful to keep out of their way though as monks never talk, interact or deal directly with women at all. So although I wanted to get photos of them I tried to stay respectful and kept my distance.

We then got taken to one of the 'Duty Free' shops, full of stunning jewellery, but again we weren't taken by it, and though it was gorgeous stuff and at good prices, it was just not on our budget. There are also too many stories of 'gem scams' in Thailand, so we didn't bother.

After that we went to a t-shirt shop, where we got a few souvenir t-shirts and then on to Patong beach, the main tourist Mecca of Phuket. It's a busy bustling beach town, albeit a bit run down and dirty. Not quite as pristine and stunning as Karon, but certainly more of a party town. It is also known for the infamous 'katoeys' or lady-men.

The katoeys range from quite stunning to rather masculine and aggressive. We found then fairly easy to spot as most have the give-away protruding Adams apple. They dress and act very seductively, and can come across as a bit scary I thought. We were warned that the modus operandi of some of them is to get you alone, after which they take out a knife and mug you, so we steered clear for the most part. We reckoned they probably go unchecked for the most part, because who is going to report to being mugged by a lady, who actually turned out to be a man, when they are married in any case! A bit of a pickle.

The sex trade there is quite amazing. It's very prolific and out in the open, but I think it's largely more holistic than here, and dare I say is healthier in a sense. Because the girls make themselves available as companions and accompany the fellow while he enjoys his holiday. Enjoying meals, swimming in the sea, island cruises, sight seeing, cocktails etc with him, and I am sure he gets whatever he wants in return. I am not sure if, or how much, money changes hands though. I do know that often the women claim to be poor and wanting to go to university and 'fall in love' with the guy, and really work their magic on him, managing to fleece him of half his life savings to 'better her life etc', and promising undying love to him. She of course moves on as soon as he has to go home. Apparently some of these guys return late, but either never find their great love again, or just fall deeper into her money grabbing deception. Sad and pathetic I think. Another thing you see is big, fat, ugly, hairy, sunburned men (normally Brits) with gorgeous little Thai girls (about the size of the 13 year old SA girl). Men, who would probably never even get a date in their home country, can pick and chose between little Thai beauties.

At one restaurant bungalow we went to one night we realised that out of the 8 occupied tables we were the only 'normal couple', all the other tables were western guy - Thai girl couples. So it's very prolific.

At Patong beach you can get henna tattooed or get a massage right on the beach. There are also hundreds of tuk-tuk taxis vying for business. But oddly the tuk-tuks are really expensive, in fact the only really expensive thing in Thailand and they refuse to bargain. They have a set price and they remain largely empty. You can actually bargain a little with a car taxi, so you can get a comfortable air-conditioned car, and pay less than for a bumpy tuk-tuk ride. There's simply no logic to it...?

While the actual beach at Patong is nicer and sportier, we felt it was a bit crowded and spoiled, and with the jet skis and speedboats around the water was emanating a distinct diesel smell. Detracts a bit from the idyllic image. All in all we found Patong interesting, and might have been a good nightlife spot, but we were glad we weren't staying there. In fact we decided we couldn't think of anyway to improve our spot, which was just perfect for us.

We had walked and walked so much by then that my blisters were starting to get blisters. So I quickly found a sandal shop, and I luckily found some simple leather sandals that miraculously fit comfortably *and* avoided all my blistered areas. I simply had to buy them, and pretty much lived in them for the rest of the trip. Richard got a size 11 pair of 'Diesel' slip-slips too. Both cost R120. I would have paid much more though :) We were getting quite good at the bargaining thing too.
About half the locals speak a little English, but every single vendor has a calculator so you simply bargain by putting a price on the calculator. They laugh at you and then put their price in. This goes on until you agree to a price somewhere in the middle - or you walk away when the price can suddenly drop by magnitudes!
Depending on how ridiculous their starting price is you can get 40-80% off their original price with a bit off effort. I found that shopping around a bit allowed you to get an indication of how much things should cost, and then you decide what you are prepared to pay, and go with that.

We found you can bargain all bought goods and services except, food, massages or tuk-tuks, and taxi's only allow slight bargaining, and there are some fixed price shops. So if items are properly price tagged, than that's the price. But at all the stalls they look at you, suss up how much money they think you have and how gullible you are and how much they think you want something, and you get your very own personalities inflated price *LOL*.

Examples of general prices to expect (converted):
Can of coke R2.15
Plate of Thai style fried noodles and chicken R4 - R8 - from street vendors/bungalows.
Beer in a pub R8 - 12
Beer at 7Eleven R5.8
T-Shirt R16 - R30
Sarong R16 - 25
Men's T-shirt R20 -R35
Full day trip to an island (by speedboat with lunch, snorkelling, and hotel transfers) R270
Coconut cooler cocktail served in the pool at the pool bar R16
125cc motorbike hire for 24hrs R25
Tuk-tuk ride from one beach to another R50! <--- See what I mean?

It's actually amazingly affordable once you are there.

Amazing Thailand Holiday - Part 1

Part 1 – Cape Town - Kuala Lumpur

Richard and I recently turned 30 and 40 respectively (on April 30th) and decided to celebrate this with a trip to Thailand, which is a place we'd always wanted to go. We decided to make the trip alone, as we'd never had a proper holiday together before, and the children aren't really old enough for the sort of trip we were planning (in lots of ways) ;) So they stayed home with their nanny Tiny, and we had had schedules and shifts of friends and family on stand-by. In fact planning the children's holiday took far more work and effort than ours, and once I'd planned that I REALLY needed a holiday!

So on the morning of April 19th we set off for Cape Town international airport, where we bid our friends, and children good-bye for 2 full weeks. However The first thing I did after going through to the 'international passengers only' side, was go into the book shop to buy a postcard for the kids! In fact while selecting the card I was called by name to please go to the gate for boarding 'immediately'. We posted it at JHB airport where we stopped for an hour, so it could reach them quickly.

We flew Air Malaysia, and I enjoyed it. The plane was comfortable (ok I am not 6'3", Richard wasn't actually that comfortable) and the air hostesses were all pretty, friendly and helpful. Each seat has it's own TV, and we could chose between several movies, TV sitcoms, PC and Play station games, In flight trivia challenge, music stations and a GPS system which showed the route, progress, altitude, temperature and relatives times throughout the trip, which was very interesting. The food was also very nice, and varied. In fact the flight went by so quickly with all the entertainment that I didn't even get a chance to read my magazine. Can you tell I don't fly a lot? The last time I was on an international flight I was 12!

We arrived at Kuala Lumpur international at 5:30 the next morning, where we were going to spend a night. KL airport is big and slick. After following people around for a short while we figured out that you have to catch an express train to another terminal to collect our luggage and go through customs and immigration. The express train was fully automated with a firm but polite female voice recording telling you what to do. We found the female Moslem ground staff to be very serious and quiet and not at all friendly - but it was before 6am, so maybe they were just tired...

After emerging through customs unscathed (even though Malaysia is very strict and has loads of rules i.e. No chewing gum, no spitting, no jay walking, no public affection, no littering etc, and drug trafficking has a mandatory death penalty), we made our way towards the various transport. A thousand taxi drivers and touts approached us. But we remained firm about wanting to catch the airport express train to town, as recommended by our hotel. However one gentleman convinced us that we should let him drive us in his taxi as he'd charge us the same price as the express train, but get us there quicker and take us right to our hotel doorway. We finally, reluctantly and with due skepticism, conceded and started following him into the still dark Kuala Lumpur morning. Where the thick hot and humid air hit us, it must have been at around 30 degrees Celsius already!

We stood on the pavement and he said 'wait here'. He then make a cell phone call and started walking away into the still darkened morning. As we saw him start running and go around the side of the parking building we decided he certainly didn't seem to be a legitimate taxi driver. We thought that at best he was chancing his luck posing as a taxi with his private car and at worst would possibly abduct us or mug us, or drive off with our bags, or who knows what...? We quickly agreed we didn't like the feeling we were getting about the situation, and rather than risk a bad experience right at the start of our holiday, we went straight back into the airport building and disappeared into the crowd. We soon found the airport express train and caught it into KL central, it is a quick, quiet and a smooth journey. About an hour long and we had a lovely view of the sunrise on the way.

The countryside from the airport is covered in Palm tree plantations, which harvest palm oil, one of their main produce items. By about 7am and another train ride later we had found our hotel, 'The Heritage Station Hotel' which is right on what was once the main city train station. It's huge and I'm sure it was spectacular and majestic once - perhaps 50 years ago. Now it's rather run down and dingy! We had opted for a budget room, and that's just what we got. But there was a clean bed, and aircon and that's all we needed. The fact that we didn't really have a window and the entire bathroom floor operated as the drain were beside the point.

KL has 4 different train companies operating 4 different lines, so you often need to use more than one line to get somewhere and have to get 2 tickets and pay separate fares for each leg of the journey - a bit confusing.

After a quick shower we hit the streets to discover what Kuala Lumpur was all about. It was probably about 8:30am. We found nothing but closed shops and markets and very few people. It was already well over 35 degrees. We walked all over and didn't find much of anything except dirty and smelly streets. Having not slept the entire day before and with the heat it felt like we were in a ghost town. All the food we saw was weird looking and strange smelling, and worse most food vendors seemed to have positioned themselves next to stinking drains. Needless to say we were not at all hungry!

We discovered that no one wakes up early there and most shops and markets only get going at around 10-11am. So we kept walking and watched as the city

By the afternoon things were buzzing along and we managed to explore some markets and bustling streets. We ventured into the Jelan Petaling Street China town market where we saw fish, chicken, meats and vegetables of all shapes and forms.


There were live chickens, dead chickens, plucked chickens, de-skinned chickens, cut up chickens and strangest of all BLACK chickens. We asked the vendor what they were and he jokingly said ' those are African chickens'. We told him we were from Africa and had never seen anything like it. Apparently these things have white feathers but their skin and meat is a dark grey/black colour. Not very appetising at all...

In the early evening we caught 2 trains and made our way to the landmark Petronas towers. Which are very spectacular. Richard who loves asking for directions asked someone where the Petronas towers were, when we were standing right under them! An easy mistake I suppose... but really we hadn't looked up yet ;)

Anyway we did the obligatory photos in front of them and then hit the shopping centre, which is between the 2 towers. It's a FABULOUS centre. Much like Cavendish/Sandton etc. Though obviously rather pricey and with all the designer brands well represented. It was just great to be out of the heat and in an air-conditioned environment, and in civilisation. We window shopped a fair amount, and then found a grocery store, and the first food that looked really edible and safe all day. I was determined not to eat anything too ordinary though so I got Malay spicy rice and beef dish served on a banana leaf from the cooked food deli section, while Richard decided a regular Cadburys chocolate was all he was ready for. The food selection in the shop were really diverse and interesting, and just the number of varied beverages you can buy in a can are amazing! I am still trying to figure out what 'yoghurt flavoured water' is though, as it sounds quite vile to me...

After our small dinner we went out the other side of the centre as night was falling and found some beautiful fountains. The nightlife was starting up and all the city lights were lit and looking beautiful. We were starting to really settle in and get to grips with the many wonders and differences of South East Asia.

We sat in the warm evening heat and watched dark clouds forming, with some thunder rumbling and then huge drops started falling, which soon became a proper thunderstorm. So we headed back into the centre for some more window-shopping. We found an Italian Ice-cream parlour, and after the heat and not much other food all day I chose a delicious Pistachio nut ice cream. Very yummy!

After the brief downpour we ventured further a field and walked around the neighbourhood. We found lots of bars and restaurants etc. After walking for quite sometime we decided to have a drink and rest at a roadside pub. This was staffed by Chinese looking girls, as opposed to the reserved and formal Moslem girls seen in the rest of the shops. These Chinese girls were overtly friendly, and seemed to be offering more than just drinks. Which I am sure they were! We ordered a beer, after thinking the bar lady had said it costs 1.40 Malaysian Ringitts. (About R3), considering a coke costs Rm1, we thought that was pretty reasonable. Luckily we only ordered 1 initially. Since it actually cost Rm14 (nearly R30!). We decided one was enough and nursed it for a while.

We were exhausted after that and very ready for some rest. We figured out how to get back to our hotel directly, without retracing our steps, and using only 1 train and a short walk, with a detour through the Chinese market to see it at night. It was much more vibrant and colourful, and quite a contrast from our first impression in the 'early' morning. After that we tumbled into bed and only woke up at 11:30am completely missing breakfast.

We hit the streets looking for something to eat but were still finding the food near our hotel a bit dodgy looking and smelly. Eventually we settled on a good old McDonalds coffee and I found some Malaysian Style croissants at one of the uncommon bakery shops. Everything there is different! We were still wary of stomach ailments and weren't yet ready to really dive into more authentic South East Asian cuisine.

We then found a 6-storey indoor flea market with everything you can imagine and spent a few hours there just looking at everything, and then went back to China Town to get a last look.

Sadly our time in KL was over, just as we started adapting and we had to go back to the hotel to leave for the airport. We were met by a friendly (and real) taxi driver, who took us from our hotel doorstep to the airport for the same price at the express train, but with lots of intelligent and interesting conversation on the way. He told us our previous 'taxi driver' was most likely after a quick buck, and no harm would have befallen us... we are still not sure about that.

Once back at KLIA we boarded our plane for Thailand - the Land of Smiles.

Jane Digest

I have been tasked with managing a +-R5.5M project. We are right in the middle of Proof of Concept Testing now, so that is keeping me really busy and is quite draining at the moment. We are uncovering all sorts of issues and are still grappling with getting the team dynamics right. I also have a savage and demanding Management Board. I am hoping it will all settle down soon, and become a bit more manageable, as I have been in crisis management mode for quite a few weeks now...

Then, to make things interesting I decided to buy a second house as an investment. Exciting, but quite scary. I have to pay all the transfer and bond fees at the end of this week - and I actually don't have enough money - fun, but I'm hoping I'll make a plan (I have already issued the instruction to cash in my piddley Unit Trust investment), so I am not (visibly) stressing about this yet. We'll see if that changes on Friday morning.

We also had another nasty burglary in January, where we lost Richard's laptop with the debit order application he had written, which was 90% complete, and off course not backed-up, the watch I gave him for Christmas and some other bits and pieces. That got sorted out and claimed for when not 2 weeks later Tiny caught 2 'skollies' trying to grab the door keys through our security gate, which was luckily locked at the time. Thanks to the efficiency of our local police one of the 2 were caught on the scene.

However this prompted me to formally close the Weideman bazaar, and I am no longer prepared to be the local Smash & Carry store. We have had about 6 house thefts now and several other attempts. So I got an alarm installed on Friday, costing another few grand!

My little house will be transferred on 31 March, so I am now in the middle of looking for a suitable tenant. I have had a few enquiries, but nothing concrete yet. Again I am hoping something will fall in place in the next few weeks. I have been intending to handle the lease myself (I have access to the PGP lease agreement *nudge nudge wink wink*) and have already customised my lease agreement but with all the clauses, stamp duty, and generally having to be quite hard with the prospective tenants is a lot to deal with. I think I am too nice and will likely get into a sticky situation. I may just get my rental agent friend to do it as a private deal for me if it gets too much, as we need to get a tenant quickly to help cover my bond repayments. Again, I am trying not to stress about this too much.

Then there's the issue of Richard and I officially being a whole decade older this year with Richard making the step into the big 40 and the big 30 for me. Since we are born 10 years apart - on the same day, and this is our first round number birthday together we would not get away with not having a celebration of some sort. So (horse flu permitting) we are celebrating in style and having our birthday party at the J&B Met this year - or J&R Met as I prefer to call it.
Join us there if you can make it. Although our birthday is actually on April 30, we are having the party on April 3rd because....

My dream is finally coming true, and although all the logistics have not yet been finalised; we are going to Thailand! I have wanted to go there for YEARS now, and have said for years that we
must go away alone as soon as we a) can afford it and b) the kids are old enough. I don't think we'll ever feel convinced that point a) or b) are really met, so we are just going to do it anyway!

Thinking that we could never afford it I started investigating what I thought would be a less ambitious and cheaper option of Mozambique for a holiday, only to find it would cost the same or more! The flights are the biggest expense to Thailand but in Mozambique it seems everything costs US$ which add up quickly. I have managed to find a great package deal to Thailand (Phuket) with flights and 10 nights accommodation, for cheaper than I could find a flight alone on a super-duper discount flight web site. After some investigation I have found that getting by in Thailand is really affordable, especially if you are prepared to rough it a bit - which we are.

So we are going for it, and it will be our birthday present to ourselves and our very belated honeymoon, as we never did have much of a honeymoon, and we really need a chance to reconnect after the hectic years we have had since we got married - 6 years ago.

So the plan is to go for the last 2 weeks of April, travelling via Kuala Lumpur and spending 1 night there before heading to Phuket for the 10-night stay. Because Phuket is pretty commercialised and not the essence of Thailand we would like to forfeit 3 or so of our package nights to venture into Bangkok, and Ayathhaya (old ex capital city with most of the ruins and
temples etc). We can get budget accommodation for 2, at R100 per night WITH breakfast included. It may cost R120 if we want our own en-suite bathroom! Yes, I have seen the website and while it is simple it is clean and safe and that's all we are looking for. We just spent more than that to camp in our own tent!

I have found a fantastic internet discussion group where you can get any advice you need, what to do, where to go, how much to pay, how to avoid being ripped off, where to shop, where to stay etc, I am even getting phonetic phrases so we can attempt some simple communication when we need
to.

We are going at the end of peak season, when it's hot hot hot, and the monsoon season will be just starting, but I reckon people LIVE there so how bad can it be? We'll report back on that one....

We have decided to go alone, as the kids are too young for this kind of trip. I haven't fully worked out what we'll do with them, but for now the best option seems to be them staying home with their nanny Tiny, with friends helping out with transport and visiting on alternate days, and in emergency contact.

They have stayed like that before for week-ends etc, and all went well. I think it will be more disruptive if grandparents attempt to come and look after them, or we skip them up country etc - but we haven't ruled that out yet. We need to watch the finances too though. It will be hard to leave them for that long, but I think it will do us all good to have a break and recharge, and I do think we deserve it :)

Hosting tourists, rock climbing & township crawling...

Well I am back from a jam-packed fun-filled week-end!

As mentioned, Richard was arranging the HP Education annual conference. The manager who appointed him - head of HP Education in Switzerland, fell in love with SA, and decided the conference must be here in Cape Town (it was in Charmonix France last year), so Richard's first project was to arrange this.

It was quite a task, as he had to co-ordinate people from, Poland, Hungary, Turkey, Russia, Czech Republic, Switzerland, UK, Greece, Dubai, Johannesburg etc, and had to handle every detail of their stay - food, transport, meetings, entertainment, gifts, packed lunches, water etc not an easy task!

I got to join them for the week-end, while they were sightseeing and experiencing Cape Town. On Friday evening we had a seafood dinner at the Hotel, followed by the
African Footprint show at the Artscape. It's a dance show, depicting the South African story through dance. It starts with tribal traditional dancing, and works through, to gumboot, township jazz, and jive, prison, miners gumboot, kwaito, and modern soccer stadium movements. It was simply spectacular, the dancing was so energetic and well performed and the sets and backdrop were simple but very striking and effective. It was a very uplifting show and makes you feel energised and proud to feel part of our rich nation.

We followed this with some more cultural experience on Long Street, with more drumming and marimba music at Mama Africa, and then on to something more trendy - cocktails at the Long Street Cafe.

On Saturday the conference group went off to a township school to install computer labs together with the Shuttleworth Foundation, while I went home to take the children to Maria's party, which we all loved.

Later in the afternoon I met up with the group again for the start of our township tour. This was a real eye opener and visibly and dramatically affected each one of us, foreign and South African alike.

We started in Langa (South Africa's oldest township). We looked at the shack areas, hostels and new government housing etc. The guide, a Langa local, has a good insight to the area, and the slang names given to the housing types are amusing, but also bittersweet. The new council flats are called 'squares' because they literally are single roomed squares. The first RDP houses are called ' feet out' houses, because they are so small when they lie down at night their feet almost stick out the door etc. There is one small section of road, bordering the N2 which has much nicer and larger houses, which were built specifically to be seen by the people on the N2, to make it look like the accommodation is good and acceptable in the township. This street is termed 'Beverley Hills'.

We stopped at a Hostel block, where sheep heads were being cooked on an open fire - quite a sight to see. We were taken upstairs. There is a central room with 2 large tables and benches filling it and 1 sink and cold tap, leading off this are 6 rooms with 2 or 3 beds in each, and a room used as a kitchen. EACH bed is used for a FAMILY. So each of the 6 rooms houses 2 or 3 families (of 4-6 members). They ALL use the one cold tap, they have no toilet and have to cook in the one communal kitchen and eat at the 2 tables. The entire area is covered in black soot from the paraffin stoves and you can barely breathe from the fumes. It's quite a shock to see. On average only one person from each family is employed and they will probably earn between R800 - R1000 per month. Of that about R250 needs to be used for transport. They then need to pay R30 per month for the family's' place in the hostel, and the rest is to support the entire family for the whole month... The newer government flats are rented at about R300 per month, which is still way out of most people's league - until they can earn more, or more family members are earning a living.

We then went to a traditional healer's shop. A big very darkened room with weird and wonderful things dangling from the ceiling wherever you look, you have to dodge these as you walk around. Mostly they are bits and pieces of various dead animals and some plant life, shells and other 'junk'. The place was dark, dusty and pretty stinky (the octopus in particular reeked). There were also plastic bottles lined up on a shelf, which turned out to be blood. It was interesting, but quite weird at the same time. Python skin is used to treat infertility, and fresh tortoise urine is used to stop alcoholics from drinking etc. We didn't consult with the doctor! We asked the guide about the use of the healers, and were told it's about 50/50 now with the elders still favouring the traditional healers and the youth choosing the clinics now... We also drove past lots of meat markets where piles of meat are literally lying in the sun and flies. I'm amazed that the people don't seem to get sick from eating it. But they do seem to have what they have bought cooked on the fires alongside the market, which presumably kills the germs?

After than we moved on to Cross-Roads and Guguletu. Making a stop at the Amy Biehl Memorial. This was very emotional and brought up a lot of sadness in me. Also interesting that none of the streets in Guguletu are named, they all have numbers e.g.. NY100, with NY standing for Native Yard... Next stop was a nursery school in Gugs, which the tour company has sponsored and has funded extensions and improvements. Being a week-end not many children were there, but there were lots of festive community members chatting and being social there. I met a little girl who was celebrating her 5th birthday in a back room. Her mother and friends were there and she proudly showed me her few presents and new jeans. She was so cute. I couldn't help sneaking a R10 note to her as a birthday present. The tour guide had specifically asked us not to hand out money to people along the way, as they don't want children to start expecting hand-outs from the busses as they arrive, and to start skipping school to wait for the tours etc. The tour company collects donations from those that want to give, and they use it to sponsor the children of the home's that are visited's schools fees and to help to build homes and schools etc. Which makes a lot of sense.

We then went on to a small pub/restaurant/shebeen which is owned and run by the Xhosa couple that started the tour company, where we enjoyed more drumming and then some township jazz. We then also got supper. ALL of us were relieved that it wasn't sheep head! But a more familiar potato salad, braaied chicken and chops, and green salad. I would actually have prefer to try something more ethnic, but after the day's event I don't think our foreign tourists would have coped!

I had a great time kicking a very sad soccer ball around the streets with some of the local children, which were fantastic and so warm and exuberant. Some of the tourists were taking pictures of the children and once they realised they could see the picture immediately on the digital camera they all swarmed around to be included in the shots and started pulling funny faces and poses, and then would RUSH to the camera to see what they looked like. It was very amusing, and I think some good video footage was taken of this. After befriending all the children I battled to get back on the bus afterwards when we had to leave as I had to shake hands with them all several times, and was being hugged and hung-onto by about 20 squealing, bouncing children!

The poverty, and injustice of the townships is painfully evident, but at the same time the community spirit and soul of the people is so uplifting, that it's hard to decide who is worse off, the affluent people who are isolated and don't even know their neighbours, or these jovial, friendly, vibrant but poor people ....

Then on Sunday we went up to Lion's Head for a team building day. We had charts and maps and question sheets. We were divided into 3 teams, and had to find our way up using specific routes on the map, and answering questions along the way. Being a local and having climbed Lion's Head several times, gave my team an unfair advantage. But I told them I was trying not to just give them all the answers. With that their wallets came out and they said, ' how much will it take for you to stop NOT trying to give us the answers?' *LOL* CHEATS. Never the less I managed to inadvertently give them all the answers anyway by saying things like 'oh look, there's Robben Island, that's where Nelson Mandela was in Prison' only to find that the next question was, " What is the name of the island in the bay and why is it significant?" :) The chain climbing section was interesting, and the Team Work was tested here, as our UK lady had to be pulled from above and pushed from below to
get her up!

We went right to the top where we stopped for lunch and then went half way down to the ledge facing Sea Point for the real fun.... Rope Climbing and Abseiling!

The climbing guides had chosen easy climbs and a short abseil so I was very keen to try and I thoroughly loved both. In fact I found the climbing easier than the chain climb as the chains and surrounding rocks are very smooth and slippery and you feel you may plunge at any moment, whereas with the ropes I was more daring as I knew I had a safety rope. I actually went first and did manage to get to the top, even though I had to get lifted a few cm at one point where I couldn't find a grip except for a few cm above my reach. Never the less I was proud that I did the whole of what was considered the more difficult of the 2 climbs, which only about 1/2 the people ended up even trying, and not all of those went to the top including Richard who has climbed before! (he said he was tired). The abseiling was also great, but going over the edge is a little nerve wracking, once you are over, and if you aren't looking down it's quite easy. I'd actually like to do some more climbing...

After we all got down alive and in one piece we went to the hotel to clean-up and then on to the 12 Apostles Hotel restaurant for a fabulous and delicious dinner to end the week-end.

I am of course exhausted today, but I am so glad I got to join the group and have so many new and wonderful experiences.

Uncle Paul's Christmas Party

We went to the rotary Christmas Noddy Party at Groot Constantia last Saturday. They seem to have lots of parties at different venues throughout the peninsula, but by all accounts this one seems to be extra special. It is simply magical.

On arrival we handed in our gifts (which father Christmas was to give the kids), food platters and donated clothes and toys etc which we had been asked to take a long.
We then walked up a farm track and waited next to lush vineyards. We were collected by a tractor with a trailer filled with hay bales, and had a fun and exciting tractor ride up a bit of a bumpy dirt track with vineyards on one side and a forest with ferns and vines etc on the other. Going past I told Quinn that fairies live in that forest... not knowing how true this would turn out to be...

When rounding the forested area we came to a clearing, with a castle set back into the forest. There was an arena of hay bales laid out to sit on, and a pile of straw waiting to be played in, in the centre. We found a place to sit, and then all the children got busy with playing in the straw, while we waited for everyone to arrive.

A marching band (looked like salvation army or something) came and played some songs and carols and we all marched with them for a bit. The children then got a chance to try out the instruments (cymbals, drums, trumpets, flutes etc).

Noddy and friends then arrived in Noddy's car and entertained the children. Big Ears, Mr Plod, and Rag Doll were all there. Poor Mr Plod got a bit harassed as his helmet was stolen and he had quite a time getting it back from the crowd. I guess there's no fear or respect of the police force anymore... ;)

They then found ice-creams in Noddy's car boot and these were handed out to all. From then on the food did not stop. Trays of food came streaming through with whatever everyone had brought from chips and biscuits, to sandwiches, to pies, mini pizzas, hot dogs, cold meats, cakes, koek sisters etc, and juice. Everyone ate and drank and had lots of fun.

By then it was twilight and the coloured lights surrounding us had been turned on. A piano was brought in and we all sang carols. With Uncle Paul entertaining everyone with his funny actions and antics - he was especially funny when singing Old Mac Donald at the end with some animal props...

Then it was time for Father Christmas to arrive. The children had to blow all the lights out and we waited in the dark..... With a flash of red (a red flare) from Rudolf Father Christmas arrived on the roof of the Castle. We then had to wait for the Christmas fairies.

From inside the forest a tinkling bell could be heard and then a shimmering sparkler made it's way along a pulley (looking like a dancing fairy) all the way to the castle, when it reached the castle the castle lit up magnificently and looked beautiful really. With another big flash a fairy arrived in the Castle doorway ( a little girl in a while sparkly ballet outfit). She danced around and 'lit' all the surrounding lights again with her wand, and then 'lit' the Christmas tree lights. The children were enthralled. It was completely dark by then and it was really pretty.

Father Christmas then sat down and started handing out the presents ' he' had brought for the children. Once then got their present the fairy gave each child a packet of 'fairy' sweets. We all opened presents and ate sweets etc, after which it was time for Father Christmas to leave again. This happened with another bog flash, this time a white flare shooting into the distance. We then had a return tractor ride back to the cars. We only got home at about 10:30pm, and both children were still wide awake and very excited. It was really fun and magical for the children, and we'll definitely go again next year.

ER Drama

Well we had our first real trauma ward visit this week-end. We have gone in once before when Quinn had a bad day or vomiting and diarrhoea, but that was just for them to look and say, ' Yes, he's still fine, go home again'.

Well we have been replacing ceilings in our house since Monday last week (Lischka: it's Bakar doing the work btw). All I can say is it's been VERY messy and disruptive. Basically we have had 50+ years worth of dust falling down on everything.

So after sleeping on the lounge floor all week, they finally finished painting our room late on Friday. So on Saturday I stayed home to clean up and move back into our room, while Rich took the kids on the train to Fish Hoek and then got a lift to Imhoff to visit with friends and watch the rugby etc.

I joined them at about 3:30pm. When I arrived I notice that neither Q or G were very happy or social. G had been to the doctor on Friday anyway for tonsillitis (it turns out he has 'kissing tonsils' - meaning they are joined together. Apparently this causes apnoea, and snoring, and makes them more prone to infection. The doc said we may need to have them taken out at some point, especially if he is having disrupted sleep). He also has a fungal/bacterial infection in the corner of his mouth, which bleeds at night and makes disgusting black sludge on his lips and teeth, so we are treating that too.

So on Saturday Q had started looking very flushed, and told me his throat and head was sore. I decided to go to a pharmacy to get some fever meds. I took him with me, and by the time we got there he could hardly walk. I bought some ponstel and gave him a dose while we were still at the till. He fell asleep on the way back and was twitching and all delirious. We put him in a bed and he cooled down and slept. I gave Griff a does of the med as well. At 7:30 we were just starting to dish up dinner (which was a delicious roast), when Griffin and friend started climbing on the long bench chair by the table. I heard Rich ask him to get down and not pull the table cloth etc. I carried on dishing food.

Next I heard a fall and crying. Somehow Griff had fallen backwards off the bench and hit his head on a terracotta step. He cried a little and then went very pale and quiet and put his head down on Rich's chest. This made me worried.

Everyone was saying, ' oh he's fine, let's eat' I was holding his head in my hand and I lifted my hand and saw BLOOD. I got quite a fright and 2 of us were looking at his head trying to see where the blood was coming from. We saw it coming through his hair at the back of his head.

Luckily there is a paramedic who lives down the road, so we decided to take him there, to see how serious it was, because I didn't want to take any chances. The paramedic was a wonderful helpful guy. He checked his pupil reflexes etc and said that his eyes were reacting normally, and so it didn't look like there was anything more serious than the cut. He said he'd clean it a bit, to see how big and deep it was, so we'd know if he needed stitches. He started moving his hair aside and the cut was huge. It was about 5 cm long and open to about 5mm, and you could see red flesh inside! But strangely the cut was hardly bleeding.

He told us that he was fine, but that because the cut was so big, it would very likely get infected if left, and he would end up with a bald patch in the area. He said it was best to go through to Constantiaberg to get it assessed and stitched.

So we packed up and loaded a still sick and sleeping Q in the car and headed back over the mountain. Luckily there weren't too many people in casualty and we got seen to quite quickly.

Griff was acting fine through all this and was fairly cheerful even. The doctor was called and said that he definitely should be stitched, and he wanted a skull x-ray as well. So off we went. They made me ride a wheel chair while holding Griff. He thought the x-ray machine was pretty cool, until he realise I was pinning him down, and then he wasn't at all impressed and squirmed a lot. Luckily the radiographer managed to get her shots quite easily though.

We went back though and the doctor looked at the x-rays and said his skull was fine (which we pretty much knew anyway). They gave Griff 5mls of Panado and then 3 drops of some sedative. He ended up quite drunk and was laughing and playing and dancing about, and almost falling off the bed!

Quinn mean time had woken up and was lying on a bed in the 'observation room' having a great time watching his own TV with ear phones and adjusting the volume etc. And eating chips from the vending machine. He also kept pressing the red button which called nurses! We left him there on his own, and then took G through to a more surgical room.

We had to lie him on his tummy. Richard held his head, I held his back and shoulders and a nurse held his legs. He did not like being pinned down at all and started yelling. The doctor then injected a local anaesthetic right into the cut and under the skin in 3 places (yes I watched the whole time). He then said that with all the meds it was very unlikely that he could feel anything, and he was just yelling from being held down, so it was best to just get it over with as quickly as possible. So we held him down and spoke calmly to him while the doctor cut some of his hair away (Griffin hates haircuts, and I'm not sure he'll like them anymore from now on!). He then pout 2 stitches in. He said he wasn't going to do a whole row because Griff was moving too much and he just wanted the skin held closer together so it can heal itself. Also because they couldn't cut his hair properly they couldn't put a plaster over it. So they used something called 'plastic bandage' I think. It's basically a see through plastic fixative spray, to keep it clean and covered. He was also given anti-biotics to make sure he doesn't get an infection.

As soon as the doctor finished stitching him Griff was smiling and laughing again, and even said 'thank-you doctor'. He waved and said bye to all the nurses too. So that was how we spent Saturday night. Thankfully it wasn't too bad, but close enough.

Q had a good look and was very interested in everything. We also had a good talk to him about listening to us when we say be careful, because this is the kind of thing that can happen. etc.