Do(ula)ing the right thing

So how many of you REALLY know me?

Who knows that pregnancies, birth and babies are my real passion and calling? Because they are!

I have no idea what set me along the path of Engineering and IT because my heart is really not in it. It does not resonate with me at all. Things Biological and Medical have always had the most appeal for me, starting with me being a St John's Ambulance cadet at just 7 years old, by far the youngest in our brigade (or whatever it was called). Aside: I remember being terribly embarrassed as I applied Vaseline to marathon runner's cramping quads during my community service hours LMAO! ... but I digress.

<- Yes this is me in all my glory at 38 weeks pregnant with Griffin. Yes I was HUGE.

I really should have studied medicine, but it didn't seem attainable for some reason, whereas it really could have been. My guidance teachers clearly gave me no guidance at all. Also I certainly didn't want to be a GP. No, I have always wanted to be an obstetrician. I LOVED being pregnant and really immersed myself in the experience. I studied up about it and knew everything that was happening, when and how. I prepared for birth by reading literally hundreds of birth stories so that I would know what was normal and what wasn't and what to expect. I couldn't get enough!

I am one of the few people I know who can actually say I enjoyed labouring and giving birth. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard, and it doesn't mean I would want to do it every day. But it's like running a race (or climbing a mountain I guess), you have to be sensible and prepare yourself well. It feels just awesome when you actually manage to do it!

I was not afraid. I knew what was happening. I understood it. I knew that my job was to surrender to it, to allow it to happen and not to fight it. I think I did it damn well. I am really proud of my pregnancies, labours and births. (Hey I have to be proud of *something* I have done).

A new-born water-birthed baby peacefully gazing at mommy ->
Note that natural mid-wife assisted birthed babies are usually calm and alert and don't cry much if at all after birth.

I had a private mid-wife assisting me for the birth of my sons. She was wonderful. She was calm, supportive and encouraging. She quietly and confidently stayed by my side and told me how great I was doing and how everything was prefect. Thinking back that was like an anchor for me and I never once felt fear when she was there. Even though she wasn't actually doing anything most of the time. And not to take anything away from the amazing job she did, but she did not deliver my babies, she facilitated ME birthing them.

But that's the point, a woman in labour just needs support and to feel safe, and to hear that all is well and that she doing ok. Given that nature takes over and does the rest. The more a labouring woman hears that she is doing well the stronger she gets and the more resilient she feels, and the more she believes in herself. For all those people (probably many men) who don't think they can do anything and are therefore not needed, you really can. Just being there and being caring and following the queues of what is needed at the time does make a major difference.
<-- Quinn at 2 days old

Anyway, ever since Quinn was born I have a had a dream to one day become a mid-wife. I wasn't sure if or when it would ever happen, but it has been inside me quietly since then. I still read birth stories and even look at birth photos often (not for the faint hearted!). I also frequent the Health24.com pregnancy and parenting boards, when I get a chance, and answer questions and offer advice.

I was honoured and privileged to be requested to be with my sister Belinda for her labour as her (unqualified) doula last year. It was a wonderful experience for me, as up until then I had only ever been the one in labour and giving birth, and had no idea what it was like to be attending as a bystander. I thought maybe I would feel anxious and out of control, and find it difficult to deal with. But I didn't, I really loved that experience too. It was great to be with her and comfort her and support her and assure her when she felt she couldn't do it, by pointing out that she WAS already doing, and doing it perfectly.

I felt completely relaxed and knew she was safe and that everything was progressing as it should. So I was able to assure her and her husband that all was well, and I do think that helped them to relax and stay calm too. It is a very special experience, in which I am grateful to been included.

A new-born baby (it should be on Mommy's chest!) ->

Unfortunately the hospital she was at did not allow me to be present for the birth, but I stayed with her right up until transition and just before she started pushing. Around 7 hours or so. Belinda is extremely squeamish and had thought that she wouldn't be able to cope with anything other than a general anaesthetic c-section so I immensely proud of her that she laboured drug-free and gave birth naturally.

So what is the point of all this? Well I have recently found out about a local doula course, run by one of the renown mid-wife/childbirth educators and natural advocates in the country Irene Bourquin**. In fact I attended a pregnancy and birth workshop back in 1999 run by Sister Lillian and Irene Bourquin, when I was pregnant with Quinn, and I met my mid-wife Kate Christie there.

I have decided to sign up for Irene's next doula course which starts early next year. It is a 6-month program which includes, much theory, 4 practical workshops, attending a few births, and a written qualifying exam at the end. I have heard from Irene that not only are many of the local hospitals becoming more accepting and open to the idea of doulas and even welcoming them, after realising the benefits, but at least one medical aid will already cover the cost of doula services for the 'patient' - not that a birthing woman is a patient.

What is a doula?
A birth doula is a trained labor support person who provides emotional and physical support to a laboring woman and her partner. While she is not a medical professional, she can offer a wide range of comfort measures during labor - from massage to aromatherapy to continuous reassurance and coping techniques.

Women supported by a doula during labor have been shown to have:

50% reduction of cesarean rate
25% shorter labor
60% reduction in epidural requests
30% reduction in analgesia use
40% reduction in forceps delivery

I am excited that I will finally be embarking on the first step of my dream. We'll see where this journey takes me.

** Irene Bourquin
S.A. registered Nurse and Midwife, Internationally Certified Childbirth and Postnatal Educator. Author of ‘The New Practical Pregnancy and Birth Book’ (now in its 3rd edition). Irene has 25 years experience in the Childbirth and Parenting field. She is at present the Cape Town coordinator of the J & J doula training course.