I have never been this unhappy in my life. I now truly wish I had never met Richard.This week he has managed to destroy all & any fond memories I had of him and our life together, and any strength and good feelings I had about myself.
I can honestly say I now hate him, and I am done trying to be fair and amicable. I no longer care.
I feel sorry that my poor children are going to have to have him in their lives forever. But then I feel sorry for them having me in their lives too...
I am no longer running, going to yoga, gym or anything healthy. I just don't give a shit any more. I have no reason any more. I give up.
Congratulations Richard you win. I hope you draw strength from beating me down, and taking away all myself worth and self esteem. I love feeling inadequate. I spent 12 years trying to be enough for you. I thought it was just you who couldn't be satisfied, but you have made it clear to me that I am not enough for anyone.You have managed to control & manipulate me right to the very end... I thought I had got away, but I haven't. I have no more fight left in me.
So no you won't be forcing me to sit down to talk to you on Sunday or any other day
Hi Jane Im so sorry you having to deal with this please remember there are alot of people that know you are an awsome mom and such a warm and loving person dont ever forget that
ReplyDeleteand the sun will come out and shine for you again dont give up hope and believe that tomorrow will be a new and a better day and take every day as it comes and try make the best of it for you and your boys
warm hugs
take care of yourself k
Ina
Sorry you are having this crap time. Richard will now have to be referred to as Dick which is a perfectly legit nickname.
ReplyDeletePls don't let Dick steal from your G & D'ness. He has obviously already taken a huge portion of your life and to let him take your self worth and confidence means he steals from your future too. I know this is easier said than done. I know you are not Lordy but I am praying for you none the less. One more thing... can you not use your blog to cause custody shit for you? Presume he is too apathetic to fight for his kids anyway but would hate for him to hurt you further.
I mean him,, can Dicky not use blog stuff to cause custody trouble?
ReplyDeleteJane, for once in my life, I really wish that I can take away someone's pain, and today, I really am wishing I can take away yours! You really do not deserve this. Not now, not ever!
ReplyDeleteJane, we love you and support you and know you are NOT alone in this. *hug*
ReplyDeleteYou know babe... this is all relevant... tomorrow you stand up again and go on... you'll see.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful message. I feel very sorry for Richard. Your Flickr photos and Birth Buddies reveal a wonderful caring woman. Your kids are fortunate.
ReplyDeleteHere's best wishes to you and your being sent into the universe. Love will find you;but take your time and heal your soul.