Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Random stuff

  • I am a little bored of the internet at the moment to be honest.
  • I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and self-analysing. I think I am learning stuff. But I am also wondering (worrying even) that I am more messed up than I think, and I am just good at bluffing being ok.
  • It seems I have a huge issue with need. I am adamant about not NEEDING anything or anyone. EVER. I had a very interesting and eye opening conversation with a good (male) friend about this yesterday, and he gave me so much food for thought. My reasoning may be quite wrong on this one, and may just be having the opposite affect of what I had intended. Hrm...?
  • Quinn has been asking me about the money in his bank account for quite a while now, wanting to know how much he has saved. I opened an account for him the day he turned 5. We put a few hundred rand into it. The ex linked the account to his internet banking so he could 'make deposits into it'. I found the card recently. It expired 2 years ago! Oops. Yesterday I popped into the bank to see what the score was. Well the account is closed and there were no funds in it. Oh dear. Suck. Teller and I suspected the R5pm fee had dwindled whatever was in there. I asked for a statement as I told the teller that the poor boy was expecting and excited about having 'savings' in the bank. So I'd better replace whatever we had deposited, else that would be a really bad first banking/saving experience. Well guess what I discovered?? Freaking ex withdrew the funds! (He did move money in and out a few times too, but the end result was it was all removed). Sadly I was not at all surprised. In fact so unsurprised I am not even angry. *sigh*
  • The boys have not seen or heard from their dad since mid-August. It is sad and pretty shocking. But I don't think they have ever been this settled before either. So I don't actually think it is a bad thing. Just hard to fathom. I try not to think about it too much.
  • My colleague (and only other female in our dept) is pregnant. I am SO excited. In fact I was so excited that I loaned her 12 books and 3 DVDs the day after I found out. That may have been a tad overwhelming. Best I back off a bit hey? ;) But it is very exciting. I miss my doula interaction SO MUCH.
  • My other colleague could just be my most ideal man (he is married though). He is just awesome and we are great friends. In fact I am basically one of his guy friends. I love it. Anyhoo, this week after his smoke breaks he has taken to walking back to his desk a really weird and round about way. Ending up squeezing behind me to get to his desk. After the 3rd time I was like 'Dude, WTF?'. He gestured to me that he'd been smoking and didn't want to walk near pregnant colleague, because she is pregnant. OMW. How flippen aware and thoughtful is that!? I was mucho impressed actually.
  • I just realised I booked our flights to JHB in December (for a family wedding) 2 days BEFORE the schools break-up. Yikes, they usually break up much earlier. It didn't even occur to me that they might still be at school on those dates. FARK. Hope the school doesn't mind. Quinn is a little bummed because he actually has a perfect attendance record up till now. Yep, not a single day of school missed. Even the day he had his op, he went in for the morning and got fetched early. Oh well.
  • I have finally lost the 2kgs that have been haunting me for MONTHS! They had better stay away. (I am not promising to completely kick my peanut butter habit thought) ;)
  • I should get up now and go for a run. But I am feeling a bit lazy this morning. I might just lie here and drink coffee for a while...


  1. i've missed hearing your updates.

    you need to teach me about your new insight into the "i don't need anyone and i'm proud of that" cos i have the same....

  2. You've heard the song : "Lean on Me".....everybody needs someone to lean on. My singing voice ain't that great but you KWIM right?

  3. Hope we're going to get to see you on your flying trip to JHB?
    Your ex is a prize ass!

  4. Hope we're going to get to see you on your flying trip to JHB?
    Your ex is a prize ass!

  5. Yes, so share on the needing... or not needing... I think my viewed are screwed.

    Yr ex. Sjoe babe.

  6. wow he is a first rate plonker!

    Sometimes just sitting and having coffee is the best thing to do.

  7. See I think sometimes when we are SO adamant about something - thats when we actually need that thing :)

    When I started reading your acc story I already suspected it would end like that - how bad is that - I dont even know the man but what he does doesnt surprise me :)

    Mine havent seen theirs since beg July and like yours they are so settled and happy!

    Ditto to Jeanette - will you have time to meet up when you are here?

  8. Def planning a meet up with some JHB/PTA folks when I am there! I'll be in the Eastern Subs of Pretoria and will be available Sunday afternoon 13 Dec or Monday 14th. :)