... you feel yourself suffocating?

I have mentioned before how I have this serendipitous/coincidence thing with music. As things happen to me appropriate sound-tracks seem to play. It happens a lot. I heard this song as I was driving to the magistrates court the other day.

And then again after the race where I quite literally choked....

Green Day - 21 Guns

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

I do think I have come to the end of the road. I can not fight, struggle, cope and deal with any MORE. This is IT. It has to be over now.

I saw Inglorious Basterds last night, and freaking LOVED it! It is brilliant. Shocking, funny, clever, gruesome etc. Very riveting watching. I realised this morning though that I am not feeling all that zen about my ex, and may be harbouring some rage and anger - when I drove past his car and had an almost overwhelming urge to torch it. Anyone got some nitrate film for me? ;)

But truthfully now I throw my arms up to the sky and surrender. NO MORE!