Things that have made me sad in the past few weeks:

Things that have made me sad in the past few weeks:

- A 13-year old grade 7 boy (and a prefect) in our school committed suicide 3 weeks ago. It is too much to even think about. How does a parent even begin to deal with that. His younger brother in Griffins grade was the one who found him. How does a 12 year old begin to deal with that!? I can barely think about it... but it is on my mind constantly because it is rumoured this boy was ADHD and on medication and questions around whether that was principal cause or at least contributing factor.

- My own boy Q is not performing well at school anymore and I find myself clashing with him , and pressurising him. He has now also had him diagnosed as ADHD and is trialling medication. How much should I push and cajole him when I KNOW he has so much potential? Do I just leave him to slide downhill and concede to his assertions that 'school is not his thing', or do I insist he get his shit together and apply himself and achieve in some form or other? It's really hard to know if he is just LAZY or actually can't cope, or organise his thoughts and responsibilities himself. It is so so difficult and I fear I am losing the special bind I have always had with my boy. These 14-16 years are certainly not easy and I do hope it gets better. I want to have that fun and easy going relationship with him again!

- Our dear, precious, sweet and quirky doggie Roxy is gone. :( She has been missing for nearly 3 weeks now, and I don't think she is coming back. A has had a range of workmen in and out in the past few weeks. Electricians, plumbers, handymen, movers, gardeners etc etc fixing up the house etc. They constantly leave the doors and gates open. Roxy LOVED going out to the street side because that's where the nature trail and all the excitement is. She was very friendly so would happy walk with someone else, but didn't run away. So would usually stay nearby and/or come back after a walk-about. She had 2x tags with my phone number on them and one of them had the address (A got it as he was worried she'd get lost). So usually if she got as far as a few houses away we'd get a call and would retrieve her.  The day before A had been worried about her slipping out with all the chaos so he locked her out on the balcony. Shame, she looked so sad out there missing out on the action and attention. The next day he forgot to do it. So when I got home he told me she was gone and apologised. None of us were worried though and we fully expected a call at any minute... But no one has called. All I can think is that she went onto the trail and got bitten by a snake - there are puff adders here. A was initially worried that she even go out there at all (and even wanted to get Puff Adder anti-venom in case) as she investigates everything and would stick her nose into any hole, and right into a snake given half a chance. I told him not to stress and was sure it would be fine. (Aside apparently she got bitten on the nose by a spider when he was seeing the midwives out after baby N was born as a spider jumped out the car and she stuck her nose into it and it bit her.) Seems he may have been right. He feels awful and responsible for it, but honestly anyone could have been the one who let her get out as she has slunk out on all of our watches recently. The last few months of her life were probably the best, as she had so many walks and so much attention and got to frolic and gallivant on the trails, dig in the dirt, investigate holes, chase Guinea fowl and generally just have a swell old time. A even installed a doggie-door for her (she didn't even have one at our house). I am having to accept that she is  gone now. Bye sweet Roxy. Our first ever doggie. You were weird and cute and so obedient (apart from your adventurous sprint). We miss you!

 

- Being back at work. I am enjoying it and I do love working, but it's been sad having to go and leave behind that wonderfully precious time that is revelling in newborn-ness. I am grateful to have got the opportunity, but sad that it's over.

- I am sad that life is so rushed and that I don't feel I have enough time and attention to go around. I want to be more calm and present. I'll get there.

Life is good, but these things have made me feel a bit sad recently...