Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Cardio Update

Update on my medical stuff.

I saw the cardiologist for a Cardiac-Ultrasound and Stress-ECG etc today. The dude made me run quite fast and at quite a steep incline. And he said he had no sympathy because I am fit and can do it. Gee thanks! All the while I was virtually topless and jiggling away... hrm. Anyway, essentially I am fairly fit and healthy, which is great news and he says my heart is actually pretty strong. My pulse and blood pressure ARE very low, but are also nicely reactive. So when I stand up my blood pressure increases rather than decreases, and my heart rate accelerates accordingly when cardiovascular load is applied. So the specialist was not too concerned about any of that. Whew.

However, as suspected my main issue is the current very elevated stress levels. Although I am used to coping with chronic stress and had functional ways of dealing with it well (running, yoga etc), the additional stress due to my new job, which leaves me barely no time or energy or motivation to run or do the fun stuff I used to, has kicked me into an acute stress cycle which is not healthy, and is something I have to change. He said if my heart rate goes down any further I'd need a pace-maker to get it functioning back up at normal levels (!!) YIKES.

So it is looking like this job has got to go. Since despite continued best efforts, it's just not getting any better. I eventually contacted the other project manager who left recently after working there for years to find out why she left, and it's pretty much for the exact reasons which I am struggling with right now. In some weird way that helps a lot, and I feel less alone and like a failure, knowing it's a general problem in the company and not just me who can't cut it there! Her experience pretty much exactly mirrors what I am experiencing - and I really admired her professionally.

So between being a stress bucket, my heart possibly needing a pace maker if I don't manage the stress better and the low Oestrogen which could indicate early onset menopause.... I may be turning into a decrepit grumpy old witch after-all. HAHAHA.

So all things considered my outlook is not dire but I am going to have to get myself out of this awful job situation, which has become so stressful I'd honestly rather be sick than go there each day... *deep breath*


  1. Gosh Jane this is all a lot to deal with on your already over flowing plate :-/

    I hope somehow the universe steps in and provides you with a workable solution :)

  2. Jane I'm so glad to hear it's nothing serious and something that can be managed. That job has to go! I really hope you find something better asap. Sending you lots of positive "job hunting" karma :)

  3. I am relieved to hear that at least the physical part is ok. Ai and stress - the bugger. I hope you find some solution soon.