Thinking & Feeling

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Horace Walpole

Monday, 22 February 2010

If it is not fun, you're not doing it right.

I have been doing some deep thinking, and have finally realised some truths and made some decisions, and I am returning to my authentic self unapologetically and unashamedly. I have been settling, accepting the unacceptable, and allowing myself to be controlled by something which was simply not working for me... no more. I have now officially decided to put myself first. I will not disrespect myself by allowing myself to be treated as less than valuable.

I think people see me as an old jersey. Warm, cosy, comfortable, familiar and so nice to wear... but when they go out they want to wear something else, so the old jersey is flung in the corner and forgotten... until next time they are cold and in need of comfort and the the reliable old trust jersey is lying there where they left it waiting to be worn again.

Well this old jersey got frayed and dirty from lying there being walked on. Now I am no longer so warm, cosy or trusty anymore.

Had you bothered to really look closely you might have noticed that I was actually a cashmere jersey, and if you looked after me well I would have kept you warm and cosy forever...

Anyway so moving swiftly on from that metaphor. I am back as me, by me, for me. Take it or leave it. Seriously.

And as the authentic me, I had a pretty awesome week-end.

The school camp-out on Friday was great - once we got the tent up. I usually don't have any trouble getting a tent set up, but this one was trying very hard to be a kite or parachute thanks to some pretty strong and persistent winds. This was funny at first but the novelty soon wore off. Thankfully after I enlisted some Grade 1s to stand on strategic spots we got it sorted and the real fun could begin.

One of the Grade 4's told me I was 'pretty cool' after I climbed out of the tree and demanded a turn on the J-board. Hehehe. We played soccer after that.
Saturday was insanely hot in Cape Town. Over 36 degrees at least. So the day was spent in the pool until we decided to head for the beach - along with the whole of Cape Town. I was fantastic though and we all had an amazing swim in the sea and ice-creams from Sinnful - decadent but deliciously impossible to resist.

Sunday was the kids adventure race in Grabouw. We drove out bright and early. It was a bit windy and misty, but that was great after Saturday's heat. While the boys did their race I took a little run around the farm. Only about 4km, but it was on a really beautiful little trail through a forest. Moments like that feel perfect to me. I love them.

After the race ended and most participants had left, we relaxed, picnicked, played and chatted for ages and then trekked home tired and very muddy and dirty.

"Take time every day to do something silly." - Philips Walker 

I even got a foot rub out of the boys this evening. *bliss* (I took them to Thailand in 2008 and they learned the art of a good foot rub there. Best investment ever! ;) )

So yeah, it was a good and nicely relaxing week-end. I feel totally destressed now.


  1. Wind? In Cape Town? You're joking! ;)
    Sounds like you had a great weekend and is having fun finding yourself again.

  2. Hi Jane, delurking to say that I loved this post as it says everything that I have been thinking about for a while now. I love your jersey/cashmere analogy. I've never quite been able to put it into words but you have said it so well.
    Well done on making the decision to remain authentic. You are going to be fine..xx